Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You'll See. it won't be longdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 144
    Class/Type: Rant/Depressed
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 948



    Description:
       Almost together a year... something will happen.. you'll find a way to boot me out of your life


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou'll See. it won't be longdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Never been good enough for anything,
    What makes you think this would be any different?
    My train of thought would suddenly change?
    Always considered myself a failure,
    either not smart enough,
    or quick enough for the task at hand.
    Why's this any different?

    In my mind
    I'm like the others
    In my brain
    I'll end up hurting you like them

    Always comparing myself you never see
    I'll do it while your sleeping right next to me
    I'll say something to make you smile
    then have to wonder if she ever made the same corny joke?

    I've never been enough for anyone to keep around for a reasonable amount of time
    my expiration date is closing in fast
    Its only a matter of time till' you see

    I'll never be enough
    I'm only a failure as I've always been




    Submitted on 2011-01-02 21:31:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      as poem this is cinematic,like am a watching this play out in our bedroom,
    but then is this a reflection of theway u actually feel,well let it be known that one mans trash is anothers jewel< so whenever we feel we too inadequate sometime its just athought( rogue thought),
    yep some times when we accustom our minds to certain negative tots, our body ,begins to work in tandem ,thus negate all our endearvor.
    please get such tots out.
    and in relationships all men cant be on the look out for the very same things.

    so know ye now , that do what is right ,try to correct those things that ur significant other comments and try to e ur nice self.

    girl u deserve to be happy, i have been reading ur stuff so i am a fan
    | Posted on 2011-01-05 00:00:00 | by Temidayo | [ Reply to This ]
      Ooops. I meant his past. Lol. Sorry.
    | Posted on 2011-01-05 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      I have to say I rather enjoyed this piece because it helped me a little into your world, it helped me see from your side. Great display of emotions, it seems they are controlled, and that is the way, in my opinion, they need to stay.

    I have to ask though, if you've been together a year, why such doubt in your relationship? It looks, according to what I get out of the poem, that you are the one who makes up that you are not good enough, but I don't see where the person you are writing about says that. Why automatically put yourself as the same as someone in her past....? Why not be yourself and ask your significant other if you are different?

    Just a thought...I'm quite a curious person.
    | Posted on 2011-01-05 00:00:00 | by xxiknownowxx | [ Reply to This ]
      wow this is a very emotional piece to read for me personally. i often feel the same way, and then something happens to change my though process to a much happier frame of mind. and something reminds me that i am not a failure not if i keep trying and keep pushing forward. i hope that someone or does the same for you. as for the piece itself i found it very raw and in its rawness comes a power in the words you choose good job .
    Joy
    | Posted on 2011-01-04 00:00:00 | by sweet_rayne | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188579

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Incubus written by monad
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    ME written by jjd
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry