Well, without pain, perhaps joy wouldn't be so sweet, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. This is very well written, and sadly, I know this feeling too.
The only niggles are that eyelashes is one word, and you need another dot in the second ellipsis. You also need an apostrphe in it's in the final stanza.
The world is a never ending cycle of torture and pain. That's probably what you're feeling right now. And a little glimpse of hope is in the horizon to make the days more livable.
There's nothing worse in this world than a heartbreak. You wish that you can throw away your heart and replace it with a bigger brain. That everything would be better if you simply don't feel. There's no remedy for a heartache. Time and physical activity is the only way to keep moving.
Your words are simple and touching. Anyone can relate to what you said.
I really loved this poem, its very beautiful. I can feel the emotions you were feeling when you wrote this, and I too have been there as well. Don't worry sweetie, I know life seems hard now but its going to get better, everything happens for a reason; I know it may seem hard to believe now, but its true. I've been through heartbreaks of every kind, from family to lovers, but I'm still here standing strong and proud to say I'm happy now. Hold strong, the pain wont last forever. Here is a few grammatical corrections.
"I stood around
these ruins for far too long,
thinking of my
would be salvation.
The truth is
I've needed
a new source of Mortar
from day one,
and I wanted
that to be you...
Of course
I would be the one to fall,
as if the choice
were ever mine to make.
Most want to feel
the sunlight,
foolish me;
I wanted to know
the smell of your hair
feel your eye lashes
on my cheek.
I've stood around
these ruins for far too long,
Soon enough
you will melt away
like the last snow fall
before spring.
Maybe
just maybe
I'll learn its time
to build something new."
being/living/feeling in ruins is a tough spot to be in. more than tough actually. it totally sucks big time. honestly, i don't know if there is any worse thing heartwise/headwise.
i mean deep down inside when you know something is never going to be (i mean you know it) but somehow you hold onto the hope that maybe... just maybe. (fortitude should count right?) in my experience it hasn't (marks a big Loser L on my forehead).
at some point you find you have to move or everything else about life just passes by or at least your experiences of everything else is less enjoyable because of all the weight your carrying.
idk... i just know how this feels. at one point, i wished i could just wipe out my memories. it seems that that would have made it a whole lot easier than going through the process of letting go.
Submission Name: In Ruins
