Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The candledots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dead Bell
    ASL Info:    23/m/Ire
    Elite Ratio:    2.42 - 48/129/125
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 654
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 668



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe candledots
    -------------------------------------------


    It has dug its own altar
    In it’s wax earth
    Before I even light it

    The wick is black and bent
    Burned but still suffering
    Head-low with the heavy expectation of flames

    No wonder it curls;
    The flame goes up
    Strict but full of loose tension

    The wick eye shows an ember tear
    The flame rises uncaring of limits;
    Fire takes the most chances.

    It sways with the motion of my thoughts
    And like that could eat them.
    I lean in-

    What thoughts has it already taken?
    I lean in-
    What faces?







    Submitted on 2011-01-12 14:31:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      my mind is black and bent, but new thoughts flame and rise as high as they want to...even as i suffer the pain again and again...

    candles are resilient until the wax is totally used up...the heart is resilient too..but perhaps sooner or later, it too is used up...

    so while it lives...it must jump to the sky as high as it can...know no bounds....

    cool piece.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    188760

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Fasade written by jackz
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Bond written by saartha
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry