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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For We Are Mandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Keiran
    ASL Info:    20/M/NZ
    Elite Ratio:    5.64 - 40/47/33
    Words: 109
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 429
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 816



    Description:
       This is the first thing I've written in a long long time. Hope you like it. Please let me know what you think, promise I'll return the favour.

    Ta


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor We Are Mandots
    -------------------------------------------


    Strands of spider silk
    Strung up between winters foliage
    Dripping crystalline tears
    For all our folly

    Foam filled waves
    Crushing eroded fortresses
    Driven by an oceans judgement
    On all our pride

    Scurrilous winds
    Drifting over complicated plains
    Laughing themselves off course
    Over all our hope

    For we are Man
    Capable of conquering forests
    Though they are mighty

    For we are Man
    And have crossed seas
    Though they rage

    For we are Man
    Who harness the winds
    Though they are elusive

    But we are Man
    And though we have subdued nature
    Still it pities
    Still it judges
    Still it mocks
    For we are Man




    Submitted on 2011-01-13 22:19:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Man against Nature: no matter what other opposing forces of which we can conceive, imaginary or otherwise, this is the ultimate conflict.

    That's the way it has always been and forever will be. No matter to what heights our technology and discovery will rise, there will always be powers greater than ourselves, or forces greater than ourselves may be another way of putting it.

    I find the choice of the word "scurrilous" interesting. A personification of the wind. But I don't think the wind makes a sound unless it has something to blow around.

    The first stanza is good. I have thought about this before; that Nature weeps to see what we have done to ourselves; we who have been given the greatest capacity for choice, for emotion, the ability to inspire and create change. This is the ultimate irony.

    You should write more often. I know I'm really one to talk because I get busy and have to keep my creative thoughts and phrases in check - record them as best I can for future reference. But it seems to come more easily the more it is done.

    Take Care,
    Erin
    | Posted on 2011-01-14 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]


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