damp with ghoulish hints
running in red rivulets
with malicious aforethought
in salacious blood lust
warm and wet
soft and plump
I like the way it thins out, plunges downward, cascades to the finish.
I think it's over modified, especially in the beginning....wild,damp,ghoulish,red,malicious,salacious.
of telling rather than showing.
A fury of of baffled hunger....this is actually where you could start the poem, and leave out some, or all of that stuff in the beginning. I know you are setting the stage, but it doesn't gain you alot IMO.