This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: DaleP
ASL Info:    57/M/TX
Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 632 /554 /330
Words: 94
Class/Type: Poetry /Fuck it all
Total Views: 1412
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 620



your mind is not your own
it's wandered far from home
it boarded a fast train
disappeared in the rain
traveling on rusted rails
it's way beyond the pale
your mind's on one last ride
with goofy for a guide
the wind begins to chill
you take another pill
feeling like ice so nice
it's just one more device
like a hole in your head
a head under your bed
a spike goes in a vein
so little life remains
the soot filled sky goes black
you're never coming back

Submitted on 2011-01-15 04:01:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Reading this I actually get the feeling of a fast train, of the cars whipping by even as the specific actions inherent in the piece are depicted's all freeze-frame clear.
Nicely written.~C
| Posted on 2011-06-25 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
  :D I love it when you write like this.
| Posted on 2011-03-05 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
  One to start off the day with. I like throwing in Goofy, gives it a special sort of class. Thanks!
| Posted on 2011-01-15 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?