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    dots Submission Name: Tripdots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Fuck it all
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 620


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    your mind is not your own
    it's wandered far from home
    it boarded a fast train
    disappeared in the rain
    traveling on rusted rails
    it's way beyond the pale
    your mind's on one last ride
    with goofy for a guide
    the wind begins to chill
    you take another pill
    feeling like ice so nice
    it's just one more device
    like a hole in your head
    a head under your bed
    a spike goes in a vein
    so little life remains
    the soot filled sky goes black
    you're never coming back

    Submitted on 2011-01-15 04:01:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Reading this I actually get the feeling of a fast train, of the cars whipping by even as the specific actions inherent in the piece are depicted frame-by-frame...it's all freeze-frame clear.
    Nicely written.~C
    | Posted on 2011-06-25 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      :D I love it when you write like this.
    | Posted on 2011-03-05 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      One to start off the day with. I like throwing in Goofy, gives it a special sort of class. Thanks!
    | Posted on 2011-01-15 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]

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