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    dots Submission Name: gummi bears & razor bladesdots

    Author: shootingstar
    ASL Info:    22/f/hell
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 102/120/21
    Words: 93
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1513
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 687


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsgummi bears & razor bladesdots

    swallow this lie,
    candy coated with pretty colors.
    sweet to the taste.

    the after burn.
    a thousand blood stained droplets,
    cascade to a deeper void.
    locked away with everything else,
    hoping to be forgotten.

    follow the trail.
    further from reality,
    but closer to denial.
    just a heart beat away.

    through sinful lips.
    the sweet melts away,
    and the bitter blade is revealed.
    the lies lie naked,
    lodged deep in the trusting flesh.

    for every forced smile,
    and smothered cry,

    a crimson tear drop.

    Submitted on 2004-07-27 17:50:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
    for every forced smile,
    and smothered cry,

    a crimson tear drop.

    this is so true.. for every smile there is a cry and a little blood bleeds although it may not show on the outside.. the old saying takes more energy to frown than to smile... i thought of that why reading this, don't ask why.. but the whole thought of sugarcoating something sweet with a little pain never hurt anything... good little write
    | Posted on 2005-08-10 00:00:00 | by solemnpen | [ Reply to This ]
      when i read it. i remember the times when i used to cut myself. its coping and most of self mutalators hide it. i liked the last part.
    "for every forced smile,
    and smothered cry,
    a crimson tear drop"
    it showed that cutting was a way t let go of themself. i feel for this poem. good work. majorrisingstar
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by majorrisingstar | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting take on the topic. i ldidn't like it too muchthe first read through, but i liked it a lot the second read. good work
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by NoMoreGoodbyes | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great. It's not stereotypical because you just...present it in this fascinating way. Took something yummy and something angsty and just...melted it together. :) Although, I think 'the lies lie exposed,' could be changed to 'the lies lain naked', maybe? I dunno, whatever is good for you! I like it a lot!
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Shuurinakisame | [ Reply to This ]

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