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    dots Submission Name: Bidingdots

    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 467
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 806


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    When you step on hollow grounds
    You can't feel, yet have no doubt
    All is fine looking in
    Yet so obvious, looking out

    At times your wince reveals
    You wear a very fragile mask
    Somewhat expected in this place
    Always guard up, impossible task

    Some will try and some will fail
    Those stinging memories still kept
    Reveal the truth for what it is
    Such tasks so hard to accept

    For failure assumes crushing consequence
    Misfortunate woes to trespass
    And you can't bide your time forever
    Nothing in this world can last

    And when the crumbling age takes the stage
    I will struggle for a hold
    Grasping limbs as I fall
    Unraveling, my stories unfold

    Submitted on 2011-01-20 07:20:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||

    I think is a cool little 'life lesson' kinda poem. And I am digging the rhyme pattern.

    I know I've always tried to keep my guard up, but indeed it is like a 'fragile mask' and sometimes pain (I'm guessing that's the wince?) is enough to let that guard down.

    At certain points in the poem I kinda don't get what it's about, but by the last stanza, I think it's about age and life and stories [that happen in life].

    In the fourth stanza, the first line... the rhythm falters a bit because there are so many syllables, but that's probably my only picky detail.

    Anyway, I think is a nice piece

    Thanks for sharing (:

    | Posted on 2011-01-21 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]

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