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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fatal Creationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Queen_of_spades
    ASL Info:    21/F/Nocturne
    Elite Ratio:    2.79 - 95/166/107
    Words: 309
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1895



    Description:
       FINALLY. A song :D Please critique <3


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFatal Creationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    steam clung to the window
    I left the towel on the floor
    and as I headed out into the world
    I scratched my name into the door

    there were days so bright and painful
    I wore sunglasses until sundown
    needing nothing but an hourglass
    so time would stand still or compound

    it's nothing but a game
    a life of chance and fate
    we dance under the moonlight
    we bbecome what we create

    I know I must be dreaming
    there is music in the air
    to wake up to this life I've lived
    it just doesn't seem fair

    but I don't mind the company
    of the baggage in my head
    the pain was worth the lessons
    I'm sure without it I'd be very dead.

    it's nothing but a game
    a life of choice and fate
    we dance under the moonlight
    we become what we create

    I felt your eye upon me
    as I contemplated my thread
    should I sew it into the fabric
    or should watch what is unsaid
    I hear the voices calling me
    but I can't make out the sound
    should I stop what I am doing
    should I let myself drown?

    if it's nothing but a game
    a life of choice and fate
    when we dance under the moonlight
    will we become what we create?

    where are all the certainties
    the scissors are coming down
    I've forgotten all the pieces
    of the signs I should have found
    If I close my eyes and believe
    in the wish I make on that star
    will I find some peace of mind
    will I finally know who you are?

    it's nothing but a game
    a life of chance and fate
    we dance under the moonlight
    we become what we create





    Submitted on 2011-01-24 13:21:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I would love to hear this sung. In a few places the flows seems clunky, but I'm sure I'm just not hearing it right.

    it's nothing but a game
    a life of chance and fate
    we dance under the moonlight
    we become what we create

    I love those lines, the contradiction in the second line is wonderful. And the last line is all too true.

    Not much of a critique, I know. I just had to comment though, let you know how awesome I thought this was. It's going in my faves.
    | Posted on 2011-01-30 00:00:00 | by Phall | [ Reply to This ]
      hi this was really good i could see somebody putting music to this it had a good flow

    well done and enjoyed reading

    sandman
    | Posted on 2011-01-24 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]


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