This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Odd Request

Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 168
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 813
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1096


reposted for AlyRose

Odd Request

Last One Standing went from joke
to bitter irony, one pale shade past
blue, gray angel wings descending
to clean up the mess your god made
of loyal you.

I wore your clothes for a long while
casino padding floors in too-big shoes
smoking cigars and reliving you
at craps tables and boxing events,
strange dyke-type in striped wool pants
tipping her matching derby hat...
"One More Drink For My Baby,
And One More For The Road"
more than C-19 in jukebox glow
a motto now to live by, my new way
of surviving a blues-soaked life
I thought might be bearable,
even classically nice,
until I got one of my own...

We should have left NJ last winter
before the chill set in, escaping our
inevitable for a mountain view,
but you loved that goddamn city
and I loved you...
god, how I loved you.

Find me in a crowd sometime
and brush against me
so I'll still remember.

Submitted on 2011-01-29 15:37:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  it surprises me that there are not more comments on this one....

it's exquisite.

i love how the speaker takes the reader on a journey of sorts....from "Last One Standing" to being in a crowd...asking for a subtle reminder of the past...and because of the hindsight, the speaker is more worldly and wiser....better prepared for the next encounter.

great write!!
| Posted on 2011-04-14 00:00:00 | by rubie | [ Reply to This ]
  "find me in a crowd/ and brush against me / so i'll still remember"

great ending...i was with you, you grew on me, your style, you personality, your afflictions, your affections..

i became two people together for so long they start to resemble each other physically...

it happened...but then it fell apart, we fell apart, or maybe i just didn't want to be you anymore..

now i'm me again...and it's been so long i don't remember the me you made me be...

but if you brush against me in a crowd, i might remember..
i could see the speaker being brushed against..and then...just standing there bewildered..saying to herself...."what was that?"

luscious poem here...taking risks...flaunting it..

whew...i'm out of breath...from the experience..
| Posted on 2011-02-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?