Dying By The Ocean by Transcendancing

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Submission Name: Dying By The Ocean dots

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Author:	Transcendancing
Elite Ratio:	5.13 - 365/214/35
Words:	107

Class/Type:	Poetry/
Total Views:	327
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	669

Description:
This piece speaks not about myself... empathy can be painful sometimes, and offloading is necessary, so not about me this piece... but a moment in someone else's contemplation of life...

Dying By The Ocean dots

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Closed eyes against the windswept sand.
Around me the ocean roars, voice to my rage,
Thunder sky above me driving down,
Plunging deep within, nauseous to the marrow.
Blades of rain mingling with the blood,
Desolation running down my forearm
Fascination within oblivion, nothing to feel,
Just watching the waste of my life draining away.
The sky grows darker, the blood flows stronger
Dark red upon muted golden sand.
I lay curled up in my wonder, reality long since slipped away
Peeling back the skin, watching death approach
Silent surreal courtship, I inevitably accept.

Submitted on 2004-07-27 21:43:22 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i have always thought what it would be like to die by the sea...one of my favorite places to just sit and think. the metaphors brought the piece to life, voice of rage, blades of rain...it's just so imaginative for such a dark setting.
| Posted on 2005-09-17 00:00:00 | by bluecrane | [ Reply to This ]
  You have skills, I have read three of your poem and I am blessed to have read great poetry.

Your constant theme was strong, made great by your metaphors.
| Posted on 2004-12-16 00:00:00 | by edthepoet | [ Reply to This ]
  I love the ocean= I love this piece.
"Around me the ocean roars, voice to my rage..."
This is great, I know how it feels to have a 'voice to my rage.' I don't feel alienated at all.
I love your sensory words; you have a great style.
| Posted on 2004-11-18 00:00:00 | by rounin | [ Reply to This ]
  Once again my friend i must bow down before your talent...To be able to place yourself in the mindset of someone else is a feet that few can ever hope to accomplish...You do such astounding work, and i feel so so lucky to be able to take it in...I can only hope that by reading your poems some of your good grace may rub off on me ...you're such a beautiful piece of life and such works as this only strengthen this feeling...You're imagery paints such a vivid picture...I'm just glad this wasn't a piece about you...I can't critique this, i don't have the ability to judge something greater then myself...My friend, Bravo!...Thanks again...I love to hear from you, it brightens my day...Take care...Travis
| Posted on 2004-09-10 00:00:00 | by Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha | [ Reply to This ]
  Very good. Compassion for other people is great and sometimes a weakness. The fact that you wrote this thinking of someone else is amazing because you put so much emotion into it. From this it seems to be that you are a very compassionate person. (I am!) Great job.
--blt
| Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]

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