Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Orange Flamedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 46
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 673
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 320



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsOrange Flamedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Not really asleep or awake,
    happy or sad,
    dwelling in the gray areas.
    If only something could polarize me:
    I'd prefer the everything of black
    or the nothingness of white
    to this stagnation.
    I remember the days
    when I burned as an orange flame.





    Submitted on 2004-07-27 23:05:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Apathic, numb and unchallenged, yet regretting the abilty to feel. This is great.

    "If only something could polarize me"...what a line!
    | Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by the apocrypha | [ Reply to This ]
      consider me mister inconsiderate. You actually wrote a nice piece. I was just playing off the fact that you put unspeified. It was a decent writing, if you find me rude, that's a shame.
    | Posted on 2004-07-30 00:00:00 | by Das_Ein_Sinender | [ Reply to This ]
      No, no, no...

    You are correct that black is everything and white is nothing. White is the absence of color. It is a blank canvas...it is nothing. Black is color. It is color that has overwhelmed itself. The vibrant colors are there but hidden it the darkness of it's miasma.

    Anyway...what controversy you raised. How nice that you got people thinking.

    As for the actual poem which some people lost track of...It is wonderful. Here is a person stuck in the blah's and remembers what it is like to have an excitment for life. They wonder if their joy for life will ever return...
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ]
      I disagree with tractor,--black is a mix of ALL colors, whereas white is is an absence of ANY. ---but besides that --I love the way you use these polarities --and describe a time "When I burned as an orange flame"---that defines your purpose here---oblivion or frenzy are preferable to the mediocre--especially when you have KNOWN more radiant and glamourous days--- Great thoughts here
         Silver
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ]
      boy, have i felt this way before. as for the black and white conundrum, i say leave it the way you wrote it. the "nothingness of white" seems appropos to me, kind of like purity. feck all the scientific minds in here! and remembering the days when you "burned as an orange flame" is a good ending... you're searching for something, trying to get out of the gray. good work!
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ]
      OK, I have to criticize this from a scientific/logical stand-point. Black should be pure nothingness and white should be everything.

    Black is what we see when there is nothing: nothing that reflects light and nothing that creates light.

    White is quite the polar opposite: white is the composite of the entire light spectrum.

    So, perhaps you can change those around in the poem. Unless, that is, you mean to refer to absorption, in which case things that appear black appear that way because they absorb all the frequencies of light that are being shone on them. White things absorb no light whatsoever, or at least not the frequencies being shone upon them. So, you could mean to say that the everything of black refers to the ability to absorb all colorful things, and vice versa for white.

    But this would not seem to be the case, since you talk of "burn[ing] as an orange flame". Therefore, for logical clarification, I suggest interchanging black and white.
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by Black Rock Tractor | [ Reply to This ]
      How did I miss this one. This was really good. Not the best you've done, but very good. The Everything of Black, Nothingness of White? I would have done it the other way round, but it is a matter of asking yourself; "does it absorb or reflect?" So you could be right, only black, emotionally speaking, is rather empty to me and white is filled. So that's my reasoning...
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by Lelik | [ Reply to This ]
      the beginning was really good but then you lost me. the last 2 lines seem to be thrown into there. I understand what you want to tell with them but I'm missing something that links them more to the lines before. how about something like 'Because I can't remember the days/When I burned as an orange flame'. hope this didn't change your meaning.
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by eve1684 | [ Reply to This ]
      i get the white/black/orange thing.. you'd settle for the extreme but prefer the vibrant colours..?
    at least that's what i think you were trying to say..

    i've really come to enjoy your little snapshot moments of life.. but this one just didn't have that same effect your writing usually has. the last line just trailed off and i was left thinking.. well ok..? and..?
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by girlinthephoto | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the phrase "everything of black" compared with the "nothingness of white" incidentally, both colours are made of all colours... isn't that odd? i enjoyed reading this.
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ]
      This comment is about as Unspecified as I can give you. It was a fairly Unspecified comment, and a dang Unspecified comment at that.
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by Das_Ein_Sinender | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this because it give so much room for interpertation for the reader. It's kind of like a "take what you need from it" sort of poem. I like the part about you would want the black or white from what you had been given. Good job.
    --blt
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      um i dont know. this one confuses me a little. if you are wanting to be either white or black and not in between then wouldnt orange be a set back. and if so then why do you sound like you would like to be like that again.
    yes i do realize that this has other meanings to it but the way you worded this just throw me off. and i dont like the word polarize. may be if you chaged that to "If only something could help me to find my way" well i dont know its your poem and if this is the way that you liked it the dont change a thing. any ways keep righting
    | Posted on 2004-07-27 00:00:00 | by wretched_muse | [ Reply to This ]
      cuddle...i love the idea you used here , to polarize...and i agree i would of used the black and white the opposite way...but you must of had a reason for writing it this way ...maybe were missing something deeper here...i loved the last line...smiles ange
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    18919

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The World written by jjd
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry