Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Coming homedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wilted_flower
    ASL Info:    22 f uk
    Elite Ratio:    2.94 - 42/56/28
    Words: 152
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 535
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 898



    Description:
       My paradelle.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsComing homedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Eight months past I fell in love,
    Eight months past I fell in love,
    So deep in love I drowned,
    So deep in love I drowned.
    In eight months love drowned,
    I so deep I feel past deep in love.

    Two months past he left me,
    Two months past he left me,
    Left me and let me burn,
    Left me and let me burn.
    Left me, left me, and two
    Months past let me burn.

    Last night I came to my senses,
    Last night I came to my senses,
    My friends brought me home,
    My friends brought me home.
    My senses brought me to my friends,
    Last night I came home.

    Eight months and two months past,
    My senses deep in love, in burn
    He left me drowned so deep.
    Love left me, I fell,
    I brought me past last night,
    I came home, I-my friends- let me.




    Submitted on 2011-02-04 09:11:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Paradelles are great parodies, right? "Hoaxes" in poetry.

    But this is great! It actually has a meaning to it, and it's rather a sad meaning too.

    This paradelle, makes sense. Billy Collins, have you read his? The last line is just sheer genius, amirite?

    Anyways... yes indeedy, this is a nice poem, I do like. Yup. And I must agree with isabella, there is a song-song vibe when this is read.

    Sorry, this comment isn't really helpful, but hey, it's a paradelle! :D

    --Esha
    | Posted on 2011-02-05 00:00:00 | by EshyFishy | [ Reply to This ]
      this is great. sad. but great. i ended up looking up the form/non-form (smile) and think it is something that would be neat to try.

    what i like most, is that you are forced to use a limited number of words. and what comes up is actually incredible in the almost-randomness.

    here for instance -

    'I so deep I feel past deep in love.'

    too, there is an interesting rythmn going on. almost sing-songy.

    anyhoos...
    | Posted on 2011-02-04 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      This has a sad feeling to it and echoes of lost memories and adoration comes to the thought of thinking about someone reflecting on love hurting so long ago.
    Paradelle, paradelle.It's flooding with pain of being alone and being left alone.Dropped as or at some sign of trouble.
    I mean this is the type of thinking coming along after reading.Form is unique to me.
    This refers to time.And I so believe time heals all wounds.I wonder about this one though.
    The person is saying 'he let me burn, let me burn'
    giving off an assumption that the person whom done the harm was incorporating pain as a motive.
    That's why I can find it sad.The last two lines has me thinking of overcoming what has tried to kill you.
    It speaks a common pain to the reader about someone who was seriously involved, and getting hurt is common when being seriously involved.
    | Posted on 2011-02-04 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189198

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    untitled written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    The World written by jjd
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Shi written by ShyOne
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Love written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry