[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A Hiss in the Nightdots

    Author: DaleP
    ASL Info:    57/M/TX
    Elite Ratio:    6.21 - 629/553/330
    Words: 120
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 474
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 733


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Hiss in the Nightdots

    In an opiate dream of Zanzibar
    she moves in sinuous measures.
    Her partner for this dance as
    sinuous as she
    a python from a tale
    of Indian sorcery.
    A lover once of not so supple form
    he thought by guile to steal
    what was not meant for him to wield.
    It was with savage sorrow
    she so spared him death.
    Now orchestrated moans are
    all that hiss upon his breath.
    He writhes in dull delight an
    ornament of infinite sighs.
    He slides his caress through
    feverish flame of night and
    spends his days drenched
    in drowsy scents of a dying
    opiate glow. And he dreams
    he dreams he is yet a man.

    Submitted on 2011-02-06 05:22:54     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A lover once of not so supple form
    he thought by guile to steal
    what was not meant for him to wield.
    It was with savage sorrow
    she so spared him death.

    I want to know the details of this part--it's like a crucial part of the back story is missing. I think maybe the word 'wield' is throwing me off, making me think there is something other than he tried to seduce her and she turned him into a snake. The rest shows your usual skilful manipulation of sound.

    | Posted on 2011-06-15 00:00:00 | by ponykeeper | [ Reply to This ]
      For some reason I instinctively shudder at the potential for mind numbing pain that can be brought about by the animus of a woman so inclined. I was once told that women make the best torturers. Perhaps there is good reason for that.

    | Posted on 2011-02-07 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      An erotic tryst of salient salaciousness their exogamous anabolic was the embodiment of fecund avant-garde as they writhed in their wanton dance . Their wayward embrace exceeded the confines of finite infinitum as they bathed in the refulgent translucence of their opacities intensities . To greater heights their passion soared as they observed the apex axis crux of cored . Futurities' pandemic visage so chained to yesterdays embrace , a natural occurrence of filigree and lace . Evolving like a need fulfilled he soon regained his manly build . She spends her days in ecstatic revelries so pleased to tease his demented reveries .
    | Posted on 2011-02-06 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    untitled written by ShyOne
    Redemption written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    The World written by jjd
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Relativity written by poetotoe




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]