Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: complexities of adult alonenessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Oli
    ASL Info:    23/F
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 206/211/53
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606



    Description:
       I have no description...just true feelings laid out.

    keep in mind, the last thing i posted here was maybe 2 years ago. so my life has changed drastically, so my writing style just go along with that.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscomplexities of adult alonenessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sitting awkwardly
    among the girls
    stories that make no sense
    filled with jokes over my head
    I fight back tears
    for this, I miss
    with those whom I used to share
    stuttering to share my piece
    regretting it later
    I pretend ...
    things aren't supposed to be
    this complicated
    socially inept,
    how did I get this way?
    since when did simply making a friend
    become such a infuriating process?

















    Submitted on 2011-02-06 16:58:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I notice that you have used the word "aloneness" in place of "loneliness".... this phrase empties the emptiness completely.

    yeah, i understand, making friends can be an insane, infuriating process but i dont think it is terrible to be socially inept in an inept society.

    there can be various definitions and interpretations of the same concept... you choose yours, the one your heart approves.

    All the best!
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      i third what the two previous comments said...could use a bit more imagery...some more poetic phrasing, maybe a metaphor or two.

    but the feeling is there...i know this feeling...sometimes speaking just to say something and then regretting it later...trying to make conversation is so hard and awkward...

    best to either ask some questions of the other person...or be silent and wait them out...often the other person is as nervous as we are...

    that is what is so good about long term relationships that are good...comfortable silence...

    i like where you were going with this...

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really know this feeling exactly. I've had several secure friends for as long as I can remember & so the need for an abundance of new ones isn't very pressing. Every once in awhile I meet someone new & we hit it off. A lot of times I meet new people & it's just kinda blah. Not good, not bad. Tho that said, I think we're all socially inept in some way. I mean, I know there's certain groups of people where everything they say is going to be a foreign language & I'm gonna feel awkward.

    So, hm, definitely got a reaction outta me here. I like Annie's advice & am gonna ditto it. Don't dwell on the socially inept thing.
    | Posted on 2011-02-07 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey I think I know that feeling, I can definitely sense the melancholy. Using some imagery would lift this from journal entry to poetry, I think. A few well-placed visual or sensory details would take it to another level.
    Enjoyed!

    annie
    | Posted on 2011-02-06 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189253

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry