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    dots Submission Name: complexities of adult alonenessdots

    Author: Oli
    ASL Info:    23/F
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 206/211/53
    Words: 86
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 563
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 606

       I have no description...just true feelings laid out.

    keep in mind, the last thing i posted here was maybe 2 years ago. so my life has changed drastically, so my writing style just go along with that.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotscomplexities of adult alonenessdots

    Sitting awkwardly
    among the girls
    stories that make no sense
    filled with jokes over my head
    I fight back tears
    for this, I miss
    with those whom I used to share
    stuttering to share my piece
    regretting it later
    I pretend ...
    things aren't supposed to be
    this complicated
    socially inept,
    how did I get this way?
    since when did simply making a friend
    become such a infuriating process?

    Submitted on 2011-02-06 16:58:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I notice that you have used the word "aloneness" in place of "loneliness".... this phrase empties the emptiness completely.

    yeah, i understand, making friends can be an insane, infuriating process but i dont think it is terrible to be socially inept in an inept society.

    there can be various definitions and interpretations of the same concept... you choose yours, the one your heart approves.

    All the best!
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      i third what the two previous comments said...could use a bit more imagery...some more poetic phrasing, maybe a metaphor or two.

    but the feeling is there...i know this feeling...sometimes speaking just to say something and then regretting it later...trying to make conversation is so hard and awkward...

    best to either ask some questions of the other person...or be silent and wait them out...often the other person is as nervous as we are...

    that is what is so good about long term relationships that are good...comfortable silence...

    i like where you were going with this...

    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't really know this feeling exactly. I've had several secure friends for as long as I can remember & so the need for an abundance of new ones isn't very pressing. Every once in awhile I meet someone new & we hit it off. A lot of times I meet new people & it's just kinda blah. Not good, not bad. Tho that said, I think we're all socially inept in some way. I mean, I know there's certain groups of people where everything they say is going to be a foreign language & I'm gonna feel awkward.

    So, hm, definitely got a reaction outta me here. I like Annie's advice & am gonna ditto it. Don't dwell on the socially inept thing.
    | Posted on 2011-02-07 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Hey I think I know that feeling, I can definitely sense the melancholy. Using some imagery would lift this from journal entry to poetry, I think. A few well-placed visual or sensory details would take it to another level.

    | Posted on 2011-02-06 00:00:00 | by annie0888 | [ Reply to This ]

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