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    dots Submission Name: Fire shivering in the night... dots

    Author: ShiveringFire
    Elite Ratio:    4.9 - 328/84/22
    Words: 68
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 852
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 506


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFire shivering in the night... dots

    Fire shivering in the night
    Flickering, shuddering, clawing high
    Imprinting a blaze on the dark
    Undulating for his prowling eyes.

    Indifferent to the constellations
    Hovering above her thoughtless dance,
    she ignores the pouring rain too
    and twists towards a deathly trance.

    Her end curls around in shadows
    Who leap back from their brief exile
    See, how she glows in defencelessness
    Refusing to yield before she dies.

    Submitted on 2011-02-07 04:50:11     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      the tips of the fire that leaps towards heaven in a death dance...the tips if we look closely are actually blue in color...

    blue, cold, death...all of those connotations for that color....the cold tip of the heat, the warmth...
    like a warm woman...reaching for the sky...reaching for so much in life...a woman who has warmed others by her heartfelt works and words...is now skyward...she has died...and the burn will preserve her ashes and memory...which will glow forever in our minds...our eyes will light up with her fire even after she is gone.

    just thoughts

    "glows in defenselessness" "s" rather than "c"

    | Posted on 2011-04-19 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      The caption of heated citrus and navel glitter, crackling in shakes, nervous of it's own state and kindle.

    Shivering---- sparks, jumping in air off tips of it's eye candy blaze.
    That is productive of you.
    Fireplaces are the ish too.

    Whoa.Well what do you know!
    That is fireplace imaging that attracts the skin.

    I've been waiting to put the magnified glass to check out this for about two weeks now.
    Someone stares into the fire, hungry to find something out of that.

    It gets shady after the first stanza, maintaining light on the face of a human being.
    But why do I believe this has something to do with crawling, crackling, creepy finale after the fire glistens off of her face one more time.

    The title is capable of being that of a story, as in something led up to this here, inside the world of it.

    It puzzles me because I wanna know is there something more to it, like a huge shadow growing over her head with the rooms main wall side is lit up in twitching orange.

    Very directive, you know full well where to put the fitting layers for what you want others to see from your shorts work, impossible not to enjoy looking over or even to read to self like 3 times.

    I can kind of tell you would take perfect pauses when reciting this aloud.
    Radiant super candle with death on the edges of flames, life burns away as the crisp sound of fire goes on.

    Had this had some opera or some type of violin effect I would say it is a perceived thought on combustion.Annnnd creepy as fudge lol

    Hmmmm you are quite the mystery hahaha
    | Posted on 2011-03-26 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      wow again. i keep on coming back to this post and re-reading it... everytime i notice something different... wow........ again lol
    | Posted on 2011-03-22 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]
      loved it, wished there were more, even though it is perfect as it is... i just wish there was more to take me deeper into this realm... you are an amazing artist.
    | Posted on 2011-03-20 00:00:00 | by Oracle | [ Reply to This ]
      This actually reminded me of a little phrase I made about a phoenix.

    "I like to consider myself a phoenix. Once you break me down to where I can't recover, I burst into flames and smolder. But let me tell you something special about the phoenix. They are reborn in their own ashes, stronger, wiser, and better than before. Baby, let me tell you, I'm back and better than ever!"

    The unwillingness to give up. The strength, and passion. It's all so vibrant in this piece. If you are describing yourself, I would say you have a strong will, and passionate heart. You let nothing get you down, not even the weather. And you'd still be rebelling against death, even in your last hours.

    Tasteful. Fairly tasteful.

    The only thing I would suggest, is clarifying the relationship with the "man" in the piece. He was obscured by the rest of the poem, and I wonder if that is a significant part in it or not.

    Overall, I thank you for the read. :) Kudos.

    | Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by Kitkara | [ Reply to This ]
      i actually pictured fire shivering in the night...i have vivid imaginations all the time and this was one to picture. i don't know, it kind of tells me i should fight on till my last breath if that's what i'll have to do to be able to achieve something. reading just once, i was a little confused but reading it over again made the message clear. love it.
    | Posted on 2011-03-15 00:00:00 | by Amma | [ Reply to This ]
      i dont no is misc is the right place for this, maby dark or love

    i loved it i'll tell you that much
    | Posted on 2011-03-14 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]
      very well writen. short and to the point a great writing that dont need anything... its absultly wonderful
    thnaks for sharing
    | Posted on 2011-02-08 00:00:00 | by janekostman09 | [ Reply to This ]
      o.o I love this! Its a dance between fire and man... I really like it!
    | Posted on 2011-02-08 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]

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