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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: THIS IS A PHOTOGRAPHdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Roula
    ASL Info:    18/female
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 46/64/45
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 519
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 635



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTHIS IS A PHOTOGRAPHdots
    -------------------------------------------


    of two people I once knew
    (you and I)
    in a world not so far away.

    And yet it's difficult to pinpoint
    exactly
    precisely
    indefinitely
    when this moment in time took place.

    Fleeting whispers and
    shadows of makeshift memories lay
    motionless
    soundless
    (shameless)
    on a piece of paper.

    Transparent displays of flirtation,
    faces concealed from each other
    under the guise of
    lovers;
    tracing the panic of teenage romance

    This is our story
    preserved & neglected.




    Submitted on 2011-02-08 01:37:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Its very well written, I think it ended just right, I would change how the first line is the title. You could still leave the title the same but just add it into the body of it as well. But that doesn't really change the poem over all more of a personal preference :P
    | Posted on 2011-02-23 00:00:00 | by PryncessVynom | [ Reply to This ]
       i think like the first comment but i thot it was very well put together
    the sequence of the words paints a piture and thats what a ooem should do

    well done
    sandman
    | Posted on 2011-02-09 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      it feels like this ended a little too soon, like you could of let us know a little bit more info. this is a half empty cup situation, with the potential to be better. its a very good start tho
    | Posted on 2011-02-08 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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