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HangOver


Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 91
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 743
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 568



Description:




HangOver



You linger in my headache, the imprint of champagne
evenings and gold-flash heels, some little black dress moment
crumpled at the foot of your bed... your texts and the headache
almost one in the same, and calling me Baby so insistently
when I'm not your 'Baby' is definitely not a turn-on. Although,
I could easily be bought today for the price of 2 alka-seltzers
and someone to wash my hair... otherwise I'll just lean
against the wall and soak up all the hot water
and never come clean.




Submitted on 2011-02-09 16:32:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like it.It's the moment that belongs to the woman after some night.

Alka-seltzers seem to be your friggin' best friend when you just want the crappy brain throbbing to stop and you want everything around you do not approve of or dislike to stop or shoo the frik away.
Theres the typical hangover feeling and then there is the woman.

Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby and your losing recognition from me for having you tongue build up the guts to whip that out beyond your lips.Stop.

otherwise I'll just lean
against the wall and soak up all the hot water
and never come clean.

Facing reality in the midst of trying to recover neutrons and the put the clothes back on the equilibrium to keep the unbalanced notion away...Slumped, head titled, a constant pulse on the noggin and you get tired of it.
I mean to be honest from my own matters in the past I would down water so much to kill it that urinating once interrupted the mission from all of that water.Like wtf, it's slowing me down.

That and seeing some people have a hangover, race to get rid of it, shake it away to go out and do it all over again that very night just hours before waking up slammed in the hammering effect.
Some people are just weekend warriors.

The shampoo line makes me think of Dove haha
The [censored] that makes a womans hair smell like a Spring goddess or something, it satisfies them hah.

Speaking of champaign, I was sipping Barefoot while reading this lol I know...It's not champaign.





| Posted on 2011-04-02 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
  It's raw and nakedly honest and openly cruel but real and it resonates with something that happens to all of us.

I like:

when I'm not your 'Baby' is definitely not a turn-on. Although,
I could easily be bought today for the price of 2 alka-seltzers
and someone to wash my hair...

The closing lines are a killer
| Posted on 2011-02-15 00:00:00 | by Car va g o | [ Reply to This ]
  Yeah, I'm going to ditto the others re your endings. You know how to make someone sting. This does sting. It feels sore, and raw, and oh-so tired.

I like the idea of someone lingering in your headache. How they're not necessarily what is causing your headache, but they are part of it. Also, linger is such a good word. It has a softness which belies what you're saying (am I using that right? Ugh, I doubt it).

Also, the sounding of linger and imprint and evening is cool.

And the champagne, which is golden, balanced with your gold heels. They sit pretty together; and the thought of gold when you're hungover is more headache material. Too bright man. So yeah, that's great.

And, yup, another ditto: little back dress moment rocks.

There are days when I could easily be bought. Often by a cigarette, if the shop feels far away; definitely frequently for a hair-wash, god I love having my hair washed (it's practically the only reason I go to the hair dressers). And if I'm hungover a bacon sandwich could get me to do anything.

The sonics of lean and .i
ef. are great, too.

Lovely, you do have this way with bleak. You make it so real, it feels so goddamned lived in, you know?

Yeah, ramble ramble...
| Posted on 2011-02-10 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
  Yup. You definitely have endings that are like gut punches. You gotta knack for dismal reality that makes me feel good & bad all at once, like I'm lucky & then I feel bad about it. Weird. How's that for internalizing someone else's pain?

I guess what I mean is that I really like the way you right, because you say it flat out & don't bother with trying to make poetry where there isn't any, but I swear it's poetry all the same. Just lived in & worn out.
| Posted on 2011-02-10 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
  'some little black dress moment
crumpled at the foot of your bed' - love this!!

do you know, if i were wealthy moneywise... i would have someone wash my hair everyday. swear. (smile). oh, and feed me strawberries.

your endings always hurt in some small way. it's like you come out all kick ass and not caring and then... and then.
| Posted on 2011-02-09 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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