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Aborted Fairy Tales

Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 220
Class/Type: Poetry /Childrens
Total Views: 1047
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1350


Aborted Fairy Tales

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
and I wanted to go live with her and not you.
She had so many children, so what if one more
were to come through the meadow and knock on her door?
You told me she beat them, but I didn't care;
I'd rather be beaten than dragged by my hair,
and the soup that she made them came hot off the stove,
unlike my room-temperature Spaghetti-O's.

There was an old man and he lived on a farm,
had every duck quacking, dogs barking alarms.
The man had no children, or so said the book;
I thought if I asked him nice, he'd overlook
that I wasn't a cow or a pig or a horse...
You told me he hated small children, of course.
"What makes you think anyone wants a kid?"
Well, maybe you didn't, but maybe they did...

The three bears, you said, tried to eat Goldilocks.
The devil lives inside your Jack-n-the-Box.
There's witches in forests, snakes under the floor;
there's needles and beetles and horrors galore...
So lay down and cover up, turn out the light
or they'll see it and come after you in the night.

There once was a story that never was written...
a lot of them, in fact.

Submitted on 2011-02-18 02:36:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  Too cute. And need we wonder why some of the best are "Grimms Fairy Tales". Who ever said God doesn't have a sense of humor? Was there ever a stepmother who wasn't wicked or father who wasn't a bumbling fool?
| Posted on 2011-05-02 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
  i love it
love it.

you are quite brilliant you know! j
| Posted on 2011-02-25 00:00:00 | by Alter idem | [ Reply to This ]
  This feels very Roald Dahl or Tim Burton (check out his kids' book(s?) if you haven't already. i know he has some sort of book of poetry that i think i've left at my mom's house, some time ago) or whatever.

The last line though... not sure about diverting from the syllable-count at that point. Kinda distracting. Feels like a brick wall. But it's your call.

Dig it though.
| Posted on 2011-02-21 00:00:00 | by pasttense | [ Reply to This ]
  I like this on a shallow surface level it just sounds so good. Then their is the inherent evil of the piece. I do so enjoy the evil part. Moreover I like that in real life, the fact that so many partake of this evil, like it was their daily bread. Like the women who on the advice of a friend beat her kid to death to get the evil out of him. I went to a revival meeting where a missionary for the Church of God told us about a women who being possessed by the devil used a hammer to murder her entire family. He did this in graphic detail. He had children crying and old women moaning. He then did an altar call, said if you did not want to end up like that women you needed to give your heart to Jesus right now. He converted more than a few that day.
Am I rambling? O well I had a jack-in-the-box like when I was three it scared the crap out of me, I knew it was evil too but still, I could not resist winding that crank.

I am experiencing extreme writers block right now and this extends to reviews. I have been working on this one for hours. I bring this up just so you can know how special I think you are. I would have given up on
anyone else's poem by now.

Now there is this whole societal critique you have going here as well as some real pathos.

However I am at a point where if I do not just post this I will be here all night so I am posting it now.
| Posted on 2011-02-19 00:00:00 | by DaleP | [ Reply to This ]
  i am pregnant with rejection.
| Posted on 2011-02-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  "there was once a story never written/ lots of them in fact"

but this one was...such desperation to be loved to get away from a cold situation...
to find solace in fairy be the adopted one....old macdonald meets Animal Farm--

looking for social-ism some room in the shoe...even if i have to squeeze into the toe and be a heel about it...

let me in
i'm getting really cold from your icy demeanor.

damn i love this piece...i can say that can't i..just plumb love it.
clever as hell.
| Posted on 2011-02-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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