[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Eyes Like Winter Skydots

    Author: blu_kittin
    ASL Info:    20/F/Garden of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    6.15 - 711/397/207
    Words: 127
    Class/Type: Poetry/BrokenHeart
    Total Views: 606
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 733

       I will write what I wish. I write from my soul, and not you or anyone else can take that from me.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEyes Like Winter Skydots

    You told me once, not long ago
    That you feared my words and prose
    So I am writing this today to let you know

    You are more to me than a sad tale
    A love than spans all my lives
    You watch over me, a guardian angel
    Worth more than just a couple tries

    You asked me not to write of you
    But you broke all your promises
    So it's high time I break a few

    Your eyes are like a winter sky
    Clear and lovely, and just as cold
    Your lips so lush, now pulled tight
    Forming words cruel and bold

    You claim to love me like no other
    But then you tear my soul asunder
    With deeds that choke and smother

    Submitted on 2011-02-20 13:02:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Earlier comments capture my own feelings. Very well done.
    | Posted on 2011-02-21 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      yes, this is sneaky good...

    so smooth and subtle in its power...translation...
    trust---once it's gone, it's gone...

    over the many years of relationships, i did learn one thing...

    could never rekindle the trust once it's burned out...

    i like the reciprocation in this..the getting back but seemingly done with a smile...a paradox
    "your eyes clear and lovely/ and just as cold"

    like a bright sunny winter's day...from inside the house...looks warm and inviting..but as soon as we are through the door...bam! the frigid temperature hits us hard..

    just like in relationships...this is universal.
    | Posted on 2011-02-20 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      No pain matches the pain of broken trust from someone you love. It is mind altering, life changing, heart breaking. It causes the heart to bleed even while beating, and the soul to hide in dark places.

    This is terse and stark, but is written with the skill of an accomplished author!
    | Posted on 2011-02-20 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Linger written by saartha
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    To written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    This written by Chelebel
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]