Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beggingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sweet_rayne
    ASL Info:    25/f/canada
    Elite Ratio:    3.86 - 493/464/111
    Words: 104
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661



    Description:
       i wrote this two years ago when i stayed with my poppa through his heart surgery. So this is a very emotional piece for me to share i know some parts are choppy but it was and still is a raw piece i am happy to say that my poppa survived and is living a healthy full life maybe it was the hope the prayers or his strong heart and soul that allowed him more time either way we are grateful


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeggingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm begging for your life.
    I'm begging you to stay.
    I'm pleading with you,
    to not leave and leave
    me here this way.

    With tears upon my face.
    My heart lays in pieces.
    I'm down here on my knees
    Bargoning with God
    to give us just one more day.

    My brain is screaming
    with the unfairness of it all.
    A very special man to one and all
    Might very soon come to fall.

    I'm begging for your life.
    I'm begging you to stay
    I'm pleading with you
    to not leave and leave
    me here this way.




    Submitted on 2011-02-20 23:36:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      they say you never know the true value of what you have until you're threatened with its loss... thankgod it wasnt a loss .. may he live long happy years :)

    This is very emotional.. and like u said choppy (especially the first stanza).. its good to hear your dad has survived...
    Keep up the good work ..
    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by Little Gal | [ Reply to This ]
      hi thanx for the comments on my posts its been along time since i have seen or heard from you
    welcome back
    the piece you wrote is similar to mine to its good we can put our emotions into words that make other people connect
    i liked your post as well it has alot of emotion

    thanx again and all the best

    sandman
    | Posted on 2011-03-04 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      Emotions are such powerfull things. Your emotion in this piece is as strong as strong can be.

    Excellent stuff.

    Frank.
    | Posted on 2011-02-24 00:00:00 | by Frank Maguire | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm so glad your father survived and is with you now. Often, we never truly realize how much we appreciate or love someone until we are faced with the real possibility of loosing them.

    Very emotional and sincere poem, which you and your father will always remember and appreciate.
    | Posted on 2011-02-21 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Its so full of emotion... God must have read your thoughts before you even put them down words. very well done!!!
    | Posted on 2011-02-21 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189540

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry