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    dots Submission Name: Curiousdots

    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Lyrics/What is
    Total Views: 816
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1196

       I kinda like the first stanza with the questions and how the big fancy words flow together. I think I did alright, considering how often (it seems) the beat changes.

    I'm not sure about the ending. I like how it circles around to the beginning, but I feel like I did it kinda suddenly 'cause I ran out of ideas and needed an ending. Also, a better word to put in place of 'un-typical' maybe.
    /shrug. Hope it's thought provoking, at least.
    Thanks for reading.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Have you ever asked a question without wanting an answer?
    A hypothetical suggestion in the midst of a cancer
    To dance around rhetoric but not go into historic or euphoric?
    Have you ever wondered how your head can spin standing still,
    Or how the body is controlled by impulsive milivolts,
    That trigger path ways through membranes,
    From nerves to the skull?
    Or what sparks the chemical in my brain
    that creates theoretical ambiguous pain,
    like the emotional drain of being tied to a past
    in a very biblical yet biological way?
    or how finite muscle movements put my thoughts in my hand?
    Put my fingers to pen, to pad and make illedgible symbols in red?

    Or how rods and cones decipher sticks from stones,
    blood from bones, numbers, letters and tones?
    But that alone is tactless as it comes,
    impractical, just factual,
    lacks the tactical angle of the actual
    interpretation from creation to ends,
    justice and means, meaning being quizzical.
    Un-typical in the midst of a cancer,
    Have you ever asked a question without wanting an answer?

    Submitted on 2011-02-21 18:44:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      DOOD! o.O

    Mind = BLOWN AWAY!!! Faved and voted!
    | Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely brilliant. I love your play on words. The flow to the piece was astounding! a MUST fav in my book :)
    ~DD aka lilmisanti
    | Posted on 2011-02-22 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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