Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Curiousdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 183
    Class/Type: Lyrics/What is
    Total Views: 790
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1196



    Description:
       I kinda like the first stanza with the questions and how the big fancy words flow together. I think I did alright, considering how often (it seems) the beat changes.

    I'm not sure about the ending. I like how it circles around to the beginning, but I feel like I did it kinda suddenly 'cause I ran out of ideas and needed an ending. Also, a better word to put in place of 'un-typical' maybe.
    /shrug. Hope it's thought provoking, at least.
    Thanks for reading.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCuriousdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Have you ever asked a question without wanting an answer?
    A hypothetical suggestion in the midst of a cancer
    To dance around rhetoric but not go into historic or euphoric?
    Have you ever wondered how your head can spin standing still,
    Or how the body is controlled by impulsive milivolts,
    That trigger path ways through membranes,
    From nerves to the skull?
    Or what sparks the chemical in my brain
    that creates theoretical ambiguous pain,
    like the emotional drain of being tied to a past
    in a very biblical yet biological way?
    or how finite muscle movements put my thoughts in my hand?
    Put my fingers to pen, to pad and make illedgible symbols in red?

    Or how rods and cones decipher sticks from stones,
    blood from bones, numbers, letters and tones?
    But that alone is tactless as it comes,
    impractical, just factual,
    lacks the tactical angle of the actual
    interpretation from creation to ends,
    justice and means, meaning being quizzical.
    Un-typical in the midst of a cancer,
    Have you ever asked a question without wanting an answer?




    Submitted on 2011-02-21 18:44:26     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      DOOD! o.O

    Mind = BLOWN AWAY!!! Faved and voted!
    | Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      Absolutely brilliant. I love your play on words. The flow to the piece was astounding! a MUST fav in my book :)
    ~DD aka lilmisanti
    | Posted on 2011-02-22 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189554

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Rooted in Nature written by Chelebel
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry