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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Bodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Santi
    Elite Ratio:    7.28 - 299/307/90
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 552
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 937



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBodots
    -------------------------------------------


    unlike every-other-guy: you were never impressed
    with my varied drug connections,
    believe in admitting the truth,
    never getting drunk
    before dinner, have moments
    of uncharacteristic chivalry, quietly bred manners,
    & this way
    of leaning back in a chair
    to study me
    like some exotic shimmering bird,
    even though I hum off key
    these crude little songs meant to keep
    you company. this is it,
    you tell me. in the incessant, eternal music of things,
    it's the timing that's important.
    like waiting for red wine
    to hit before you smoke your last cigarette,
    mingling the two together
    for that small but perfect ache. yes,
    this is it....




    Submitted on 2011-02-23 09:56:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      One thing i like about your page is your poems are easy to find.

    I like that static nature of him and and the all over the place nature of her, that collision of things creates/created a fine point in the poem, that mix of wisdom & vagrancy creating a home. Its incredibly delicate - that point of realization.

    Its kind of cool, like Bo, making himself into a blanket
    & you realizing, it was yours,
    to be warm.

    There is an adequate sweetness to that
    like with just a little of that
    you could go
    out and do anything in life.


    that's the part in the poem
    where the use of metaphor becomes integral,
    its not exotic and shimmering, its not elusive or fanciful or
    needing of adornment in ANY way, its not like,
    its just a beautiful bird.

    As always, theres a lot i dont say, these poems are cool and fuck it right? I dont think ive had so much fun commenting on someone's poetry in an age, but anyhow, shooting back to the beginning and mind altering / state altering substances its a nice contrast, the littleness of that contrast and the immovable nature of what is to be.

    It fills me full of happy that transformation. I wonder how exotic you felt the moment you found out you were that beautiful.
    | Posted on 2014-07-06 00:00:00 | by Daniel Barlow | [ Reply to This ]
      I just don't know why this one hasn't garnered more comments.

    It's a lovely portrait of a man, and the way in which he loves.

    I like how you begin with unlike-- so we immediately know that he's different. A stand-alone kinda guy, one in a million, yadda yadda (you say it best, yup, you do). But something about starting with that, so that's both a positive and a negative in one, negative in how it's unlike-- positive in that this is a good unlike. He's different in a good way. Bleh-- Am I making sense? The wine has not quite hit yet. Sorry.

    I also dig the idea of music, in this-- and how what you consider your music to be (out-of-tune) he considers to be elemental, essential, an important part in the nature of things.

    And of course, how that ties in with him looking at you as though you are an exotic bird-- so there's that duality again, how you perceive yourself, how he perceives you. But you manage to achieve that without sounding overly-self-deprecating, you know? Or even at all self-deprecating. More like you're making an observation about how he sees, about love, generally. And that's good.

    The idea of shimmering too-- something about that makes you feel out-of-reach, or blurred, or something, I can't quite think what. Unreal, that's what it is. As though in his eyes you are unreal. I guess that's extended by the idea of exotic.

    I like his philosophising, too. Very quoteable.

    Your end-- that mingling of cigarettes and wine to reach that perfect hit. Ugh. It's sublime. And the rhyme there is great. Isn't it great when things just fall into place like that, almost like something intuited?

    Anyhoo, I just wanted to drop some thoughts on why I like this...
    | Posted on 2011-03-01 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]
      the ache for another to love deep inside us...

    for what we are where no one else chooses to go, to search us.

    two people really mingling..not judging or being impressed by impressions..

    but very calmly taking each other in...accepting...and then accepting...

    "quietly bred manners" yes...don't judge, comment on the bad...wait to see more...much more...then decide.

    | Posted on 2011-02-23 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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