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how to spell...


Author: Someones Epiphany
Elite Ratio:    8 - 4454 /2107 /161
Words: 116
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1619
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 719



Description:


sorry. i know its all soppy and stupid.
zelalem [my husbands name] means forever.
tinish koi means wait a little bit


how to spell...



it's the little things
that spell

l o n e l i n e s s

plants scattered round the
house in various stages of
dying

the way 'i love you'
is reminiscent of
'hows the weather'

'forever' is a token gesture
when a day outlasts it
and then some

yet...

you are my promised land

i dont mind if the plants die;
if 'i love you' loses its butterflies

you are my (zelalem) forever

tinish koi

let me be your
home




Submitted on 2011-02-24 00:23:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  this one drew me back...there is a poem called "sorting laundry" by elisavietta ritchie that i teach in my lit class...this reminds me of that poem somewhat...

i like the theme in this..and there "ain't" nothing wrong with "soppy" or "sappy"--

it's nice to read something positive like this once in awhile...since mostly we poets just thrive and write about pain.

jacob
| Posted on 2011-07-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  "forever is a token gesture/ when a day outlasts it/ and then some"

ain't that the truth..."i'll love you forever" hasn't much meaning these days....cause it is said without real intent..it is said in the moment

and eventually the plants die...they were ours, they were us...now i don't care...you refused to water us to keep us alive...so i refuse to water them...because memories need not be kept alive..it is time for new plants, new love.
i am a butterfly...and will float away now.

jacob
| Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
  You cant really comment on a poem so personal

So I won't

And you probably wouldn't want me to ;-)

But I will say hi

Hi

:-)
| Posted on 2011-03-19 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
  Blew me away! o.o What more is there to say? I loved it! Loneliness is a familiar feeling...
| Posted on 2011-02-28 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
  I don't think this is soppy & stupid at all, actually. I love this

"plants scattered round the
house in various stages of
dying"

& how you come back to this image later. It puts things into perspective. Plants die, love won't. It is a simple & sound logic, & makes you weigh the bigger things. & how even these things, small things, can be reminders of what else is missing or lacking. Dead house plants also always make me think of my Bo, so I guess that has added appeal for me.

& the final lines are perfect.

Being lonely is dreadful, but at least there is a reason & you have someone to hold on to. The softness in the tone, & gentle pleading of the "tinish koi" adds that little extra something, too.

I hope it's all over soon!
| Posted on 2011-02-25 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow! It has a transcendentl quality, the subtle defiance against the ticking clock. It is sensitive to personl limitations and yet decides to go beyond them. On the whole, it naturally provokes that elusive wow feeling in the reader. it did that to me.
| Posted on 2011-02-24 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


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