Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: how to spell...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Someones Epiphany
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 4454/2106/161
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 719



    Description:
       sorry. i know its all soppy and stupid.
    zelalem [my husbands name] means forever.
    tinish koi means wait a little bit


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshow to spell...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    it's the little things
    that spell

    l o n e l i n e s s

    plants scattered round the
    house in various stages of
    dying

    the way 'i love you'
    is reminiscent of
    'hows the weather'

    'forever' is a token gesture
    when a day outlasts it
    and then some

    yet...

    you are my promised land

    i dont mind if the plants die;
    if 'i love you' loses its butterflies

    you are my (zelalem) forever

    tinish koi

    let me be your
    home




    Submitted on 2011-02-24 00:23:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this one drew me back...there is a poem called "sorting laundry" by elisavietta ritchie that i teach in my lit class...this reminds me of that poem somewhat...

    i like the theme in this..and there "ain't" nothing wrong with "soppy" or "sappy"--

    it's nice to read something positive like this once in awhile...since mostly we poets just thrive and write about pain.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      "forever is a token gesture/ when a day outlasts it/ and then some"

    ain't that the truth..."i'll love you forever" hasn't much meaning these days....cause it is said without real intent..it is said in the moment

    and eventually the plants die...they were ours, they were us...now i don't care...you refused to water us to keep us alive...so i refuse to water them...because memories need not be kept alive..it is time for new plants, new love.
    i am a butterfly...and will float away now.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      You cant really comment on a poem so personal

    So I won't

    And you probably wouldn't want me to ;-)

    But I will say hi

    Hi

    :-)
    | Posted on 2011-03-19 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Blew me away! o.o What more is there to say? I loved it! Loneliness is a familiar feeling...
    | Posted on 2011-02-28 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think this is soppy & stupid at all, actually. I love this

    "plants scattered round the
    house in various stages of
    dying"

    & how you come back to this image later. It puts things into perspective. Plants die, love won't. It is a simple & sound logic, & makes you weigh the bigger things. & how even these things, small things, can be reminders of what else is missing or lacking. Dead house plants also always make me think of my Bo, so I guess that has added appeal for me.

    & the final lines are perfect.

    Being lonely is dreadful, but at least there is a reason & you have someone to hold on to. The softness in the tone, & gentle pleading of the "tinish koi" adds that little extra something, too.

    I hope it's all over soon!
    | Posted on 2011-02-25 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! It has a transcendentl quality, the subtle defiance against the ticking clock. It is sensitive to personl limitations and yet decides to go beyond them. On the whole, it naturally provokes that elusive wow feeling in the reader. it did that to me.
    | Posted on 2011-02-24 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189589

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    You read free written by poetotoe
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Love written by saartha
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Cover written by saartha
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Every..... written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Shi written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry