Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: how to spell...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Someones Epiphany
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 4454/2106/161
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 865
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 719



    Description:
       sorry. i know its all soppy and stupid.
    zelalem [my husbands name] means forever.
    tinish koi means wait a little bit


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotshow to spell...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    it's the little things
    that spell

    l o n e l i n e s s

    plants scattered round the
    house in various stages of
    dying

    the way 'i love you'
    is reminiscent of
    'hows the weather'

    'forever' is a token gesture
    when a day outlasts it
    and then some

    yet...

    you are my promised land

    i dont mind if the plants die;
    if 'i love you' loses its butterflies

    you are my (zelalem) forever

    tinish koi

    let me be your
    home




    Submitted on 2011-02-24 00:23:28     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this one drew me back...there is a poem called "sorting laundry" by elisavietta ritchie that i teach in my lit class...this reminds me of that poem somewhat...

    i like the theme in this..and there "ain't" nothing wrong with "soppy" or "sappy"--

    it's nice to read something positive like this once in awhile...since mostly we poets just thrive and write about pain.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-07-02 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      "forever is a token gesture/ when a day outlasts it/ and then some"

    ain't that the truth..."i'll love you forever" hasn't much meaning these days....cause it is said without real intent..it is said in the moment

    and eventually the plants die...they were ours, they were us...now i don't care...you refused to water us to keep us alive...so i refuse to water them...because memories need not be kept alive..it is time for new plants, new love.
    i am a butterfly...and will float away now.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      You cant really comment on a poem so personal

    So I won't

    And you probably wouldn't want me to ;-)

    But I will say hi

    Hi

    :-)
    | Posted on 2011-03-19 00:00:00 | by on1eday.co.uk | [ Reply to This ]
      Blew me away! o.o What more is there to say? I loved it! Loneliness is a familiar feeling...
    | Posted on 2011-02-28 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't think this is soppy & stupid at all, actually. I love this

    "plants scattered round the
    house in various stages of
    dying"

    & how you come back to this image later. It puts things into perspective. Plants die, love won't. It is a simple & sound logic, & makes you weigh the bigger things. & how even these things, small things, can be reminders of what else is missing or lacking. Dead house plants also always make me think of my Bo, so I guess that has added appeal for me.

    & the final lines are perfect.

    Being lonely is dreadful, but at least there is a reason & you have someone to hold on to. The softness in the tone, & gentle pleading of the "tinish koi" adds that little extra something, too.

    I hope it's all over soon!
    | Posted on 2011-02-25 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! It has a transcendentl quality, the subtle defiance against the ticking clock. It is sensitive to personl limitations and yet decides to go beyond them. On the whole, it naturally provokes that elusive wow feeling in the reader. it did that to me.
    | Posted on 2011-02-24 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189589

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    ME written by jjd
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    This written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Stretto written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry