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Phone Date


Author: Ontlogicalamity
ASL Info:    33/M/NY
Elite Ratio:    4.67 - 190 /194 /45
Words: 204
Class/Type: Poetry /Love
Total Views: 1302
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1343



Description:


The inspiration I lacked yesterday came after a phone conversation last night with that same special someone who's inspired a couple of my submissions on here already. I'm kind of fascinated by the idea of a phone date. It was her idea, and when it was over it left me feeling.. well, just read the damned poem. I think it still might need a little work. Maybe not. I've already edited once.


Phone Date



I hung up the phone, heart ready to burst.
Forty-five minutes we kept.
She sounded sad, perhaps a bit tired.
Doubtless she'd recently wept.

She'd had a rough week, my young lady fair.
Her spirits were down in her feet.
What wouldn't I give to comfort her now,
With caresses gentle and sweet?

We talked of what ailed her, among other things.
Time whispered sneakily on.
Her battery died once and I called her back.
Our phone date appeared almost gone.

We said our goodbyes, with much hesitation,
Wishing it never expire.
She asked of our next meeting, I told her soon,
If rendezvous be her desire.

She smiled then.. It's a difficult thing,
To notice a smile by phone.
Yet to me it was plain, and bright as the sun,
Along with the change in her tone.

With a final farewell, that bright smile faded,
Stolen away by the click
Of her phone being placed softly back on the hook.
That dialtone came awfully quick.

I hung up the phone, heart ready to burst.
Forty-five minutes paid out.
I asked myself partly in jest, is she worth it?
The answer,
Oh Yes.
Without a doubt.




Submitted on 2004-07-28 09:39:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I got to say I dont use ryhmes generlaly because they dont come to me, however I do enjoy them once in a blue moon when I read a piece, and in fact I loved how you ised them in this particular piece. I really must say you always say how much of a hopeless romantic I am and Ive agreed, but now Im questioning whos more so the love sick fool(which now and again isnt a bad thing). Your a jack A#@ in the best way(see the movie serendipity to understand what I mean) . Such honesty, it is so plain t see how you admire this girl...Im curious to meet her. Im also curious if this is something you would let her read. Keep up the work Aaron, I must say in the eyars Ive known you and the pieces Ive read I think youve ocme a long way in just the past few weeks. I am impressed, especially because I am horrible when it comes to writing love poems.
| Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]
  HMMM...I ENJOYED THIS ...I THINK THE IDEA OF THE PHONE DATE ...INTERESTING...THE PART ABOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE HER SMILE THOUGH YOUR ON THE PHONE WONDERFUL...I THINK IT MADE THE WRITE...REALLY DESCRIBED HOW YOU ENJOY THIS PERSON SO MUCH ...THAT YOU CAN KNOW WHEN THERE SMILING JUST BY THE TONE OF THEIR VOICE...NO COMPLAINTS...SMILES ANGE
| Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]


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