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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sleeping Awake dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Abass
    Elite Ratio:    2.48 - 7/8/9
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 666
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1107



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSleeping Awake dots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I cant sleep,

    I look to my left,

    spare no star as I hear u speak,

    words weigh with heft.



    Whisper of a time when we loved,

    a time we looked up, we held, pulled and shoved,

    swim in my arms, guard down,

    we give up.



    Touch to give a definition,

    I define my name,

    you define your ambition,

    we're tied in this game.



    Entangled and twisted,

    intertwine with me,

    you breathe a rush of bliss,

    wrapped up, we are free.



    Quiver and shake,

    no nerve gone untouched, longing to see you again tomorrow,

    it is a shame i had to awake,

    I wait to rest my eyes again, one more full

    sun of sorrow.



    Let time flow into night's stream,

    eager to see you again,

    when I dream.




    Submitted on 2011-02-28 14:42:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like the child play behind these rhymes. I really think you should explore this aspect more.

    "Entangled and twisted,
    Quiver and shake"

    I think you should try your hand at more wordplay like this.

    I've started posting again on this site. Any feedback on my new poems would be highly appreciated as I haven't posted anything in ages. My newest one is also a love poem. I think you might enjoy it...
    | Posted on 2011-07-03 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      Delightful poetic write that does a good job of describing those romantic dreams where our dream lover fades into nothingness as we are awakened. One wishes she were there, hiding, and just waiting to join us again when we return to sleep!

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2011-03-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      dangg i know just what you mean, sometimes dreams are better then reality. dont you hate it when you wake up in the middle of a good one and try and roll over to get it back! i really enjoy your style, good write.
    | Posted on 2011-02-28 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]


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