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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I amdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheInvisible
    ASL Info:    22/f/The Valley of Doom
    Elite Ratio:    2.06 - 51/55/37
    Words: 59
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 414
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 377



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI amdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am the bleakest light of day,
    the mournful whisper in your ear.
    I am the broken promise of yesterday,
    the imagined dream of tomorrow.
    I am all that you wished for,
    and all that you wish you've never seen.
    I am all.
    I am nothing.
    The eternity that yawns in it's emptiness.
    The here and now.
    I am.




    Submitted on 2011-03-06 02:23:37     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      wow! despite its depressing tone. wow!

    hush! i wont change a syllable in this.
    | Posted on 2011-03-10 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this. the only thing i would maybe consider changing is:

    'I am the broken promise of yesterday,
    the imagined dream of tomorrow.'

    and only because the yesterday/tomorrow thing borders on cliché.

    maybe just lop off the two words and leave it at:

    I am the broken promise,
    the imagined dream.

    'The eternity that yawns in it's emptiness' = a great thought. ha! eternity yawning. sweet that.

    'i am' is always an interesting place to land. pondering-wise, at least. i am (insert something here). yes, i am (insert something else, here).

    i think most people (well at least i do) ponder the intracies of where we stand in it all. if anything, life is this strange and crazy journey trying to find out.

    the all. the nothing. i can totally relate to that. i am either the 1 or the 10 on any given scale. i don't see much gray.

    anyhoo...

    just some thoughts...
    | Posted on 2011-03-08 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


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