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    dots Submission Name: Snowydots

    Author: Fantastic Freya
    Elite Ratio:    5.05 - 133/160/47
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 900
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 597


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    On Monday morning she brought me tea
    well-stirred, no hint of honey, but
    the tang of gum smoked to my fingertips
    as they drummed high country hoofbeats
    in snowtime dreaming.

    There are words, secret echoes,
    that only a melting river knows.

    I heard, leftwards, a breast open to
    shadows. I have no eyes for tender glances,
    coy silk bouncing from kindled wicks,
    petals soft and insipid on the stoop.

    On Mondays I drink my tea
    and stare directly into the sun.

    Submitted on 2011-03-07 05:00:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      The tea may not have any hint of honey but this poem has an unmistakable hint of mystery because those hoofbeats are:

    There are words, secret echoes,
    that only a melting river knows.

    and when you say,,,

    I have no eyes for tender glances,
    coy silk bouncing from kindled wicks,
    petals soft and insipid on the stoop.

    you see the description is still most 'tender' as if written by a soft hand and conceived by a peaceful mind.

    The last line sparkles sharply like a glint of the snow.
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]

    this is a beautiful ethereal piece...

    yes, facing life head-on---not sugar coating it..

    i face the sun...i like that..

    i also really like the "words/ secret echoes that only a melting river knows."

    like melting through the BS into what is real...once the snowy facade is penetrated...we get to what's real.

    "i have no eyes for tender glances"
    i relate to this line..i used to have eyes for them...but life made me too cynical for that now...

    i don't need "a hint of honey" that just covers up the real taste, the often bitter taste"

    really like this and am going to look at more of your work...i'm intrigued...
    | Posted on 2011-03-07 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]
      so nice to see ya back.

    and yes,

    a most excellent write.

    and while i'm not blowing smoke up your arse, i thought i'd add that i tend to view the sun of monday's from my stoop with my own cuppa, watching a river make her way towards the open sea.

    simply an unspecified.
    | Posted on 2011-03-07 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]
      i'm a dumbass.

    you're phantom pen?

    if yes, then, re genuine writer, re female, re australian, re considered restraint in relationship to all the goodness on my page

    then duh, yes, i should have known it.

    this poem btw is excellent.

    a form girl. yes, i should have known it.
    | Posted on 2011-03-07 00:00:00 | by theludus | [ Reply to This ]

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