Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Requiem for a Spring Nightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: moaxcym
    ASL Info:    23/m/Pakistan
    Elite Ratio:    2.87 - 155/196/85
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 710



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRequiem for a Spring Nightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Under the mild heat of early spring air,

    I remember you as you were

    when we walked across golden fields, leading to

    tombs adorned with rampant worship.

    Threads tied to these holy shrines

    are like firmaments still, and burn in the delirious light

    of many a passionate lamps,

    ushering caravans of barren prayers,

    some mine, some belonging to the faceless throng;

    while I dance in a ruined tavern

    under the reign of the harvest moon

    with a desiccated heart, half-moon eyes,

    Hafez's verses, and a broken cup of wine.




    Submitted on 2011-03-08 14:30:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree this is a very detailed poem it draws a very vivid picture and you have a way with your words this is a verry good write.
    | Posted on 2011-03-10 00:00:00 | by JAILBYRD22 | [ Reply to This ]
      just as pretty, i think.



    'while I dance in a ruined tavern

    under the reign of the harvest moon

    with a desiccated heart, half-moon eyes,

    Hafez's verses, and a broken cup of wine.'




    simply marvelous, that.

    yup.

    poetic, even. (in the best possible way).

    (smile).








    | Posted on 2011-03-08 00:00:00 | by isabella | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189796

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Linger written by saartha
    Bond written by saartha
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    To written by SavedDragon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Giving written by jjd
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry