[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: I Was Six Years Olddots

    Author: trynfinity
    ASL Info:    38/f/California
    Elite Ratio:    4.43 - 149/145/91
    Words: 204
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 414
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1233

       For those children who have no voice, who have gone unheard.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Was Six Years Olddots

    I Was Six Years Old
    (in an effort to stop child abuse)

    I don't have a mommy
    who tucks me in at night.
    Or a daddy who will teach me
    to be strong or how to fight.
    They don't hug and kiss me
    or buy me cookies from the store.
    I don't even have a bed
    I sleep there on the floor.
    Sometimes I get a blanket
    never if I ask.
    Most times i'm really really quiet
    if not they get mad.
    No one sees my bruises
    no one sees my tears.
    If they do I get in trouble
    that's my biggest ever fear.
    I know one day they'll kill me
    they will hit me way too hard.
    They won't stop till i'm not breathing
    they'll burry me out back in the yard.

    I was six years old if you find this,the last thing I heard my mommy say
    I was bad and I was worthless
    no one would notice me gone anyway.
    NO one saw my bruises
    No one hears my cries.
    No one came to save me.

    Everyone has a voice, can we quiet ourselves to listen.

    Heather KemperFebruary14,2011

    Submitted on 2011-03-10 15:41:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i like the voice in this...very well done...from the pen of an adult...this feels exactly like how a 6 year old would express the trauma of this situation..

    one thing ..it's "bury"

    but what a poignant line.."bury me in the back yard" like a pet...

    reminds me of "the Sandbox" by edward albee...

    the grandma who was taken off her farm by the daughter and her husband, given a blanket and her very own dish...just like a dog...

    a really good treatment of a very sensitive issue here, and you really make us feel what goes inside the 6 year old mind when this happens...the confusion the fear...and looking back after death...still confused..why didn't mom stop him?
    how could this happen? trying to come to terms, almost, rather than wanting to stay angry...
    that takes so much energy.

    wow, this poem got me wound up..sorry..

    just thoughts

    | Posted on 2011-03-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Summer written by layDsayD
    Bond written by saartha
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Giving written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]