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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Floatingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AshleyDYoung
    ASL Info:    19/F/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 28/33/34
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 528
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 547



    Description:
       My fiancee wrote this


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFloatingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life is cold
    My life is getting old
    Same routine day in day out
    Through endless rain and drought

    My family a friends
    They say they will be with me
    Till the world ends
    But i will just wait and see...

    My tears trickle towards my teeth
    I feel my heart fill with grief
    My knees begin to tremble
    The cry of fear escapes me

    I waited to see
    And just as i suspected
    They all abandoned me
    I float away in this never ending sea




    Submitted on 2011-03-10 22:37:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      As for critiques, the wording is not very creative and the rhymes seem forced. It doesn't flow well. But this is a good expression of feelings, and sadly everyone can probably relate at some point.
    | Posted on 2011-03-11 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah! i have gone through all this too and i really liked this poem... so true!
    | Posted on 2011-03-11 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      sooner or later we find that we are our own island...out in the middle of nowhere, with only ourselves to depend on...

    very sad piece...but relatable.
    | Posted on 2011-03-10 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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