Its been just under 5 months since you have passed on to be at in a better place. There is not a day that goes by I do not think of you. I still cry myself to sleep at nights wishing you were here to talk. Id give anything in the world to have just one more minute with you...A simple hug and its gonna be alright Kay Kay would be just enough to keep me pushing through. Every time I feel like giving up on everything and throwing in the towel I think of you and remind myself that you would want me to push on and keep going. I know you knew I cared about you deeply. But I sometimes feel I never let you know just how much you meant to me...I have many regrets towards the end of your life..Not spending as much time with you as your days were coming to an end...I ask myself if you knew your days were coming to an end...If I had known that Monday would have been the last car ride I was ever gonna have with you I would have asked grandma to keep driving for hours...I just didn't know you were that sick grandpa...I thought you were getting better...Standing in that hospital room looking at you knowing it was gonna be the last time I ever saw you was to much...It was easier for me to let you go in my sleep If I had been there I would'nt of been able to let grandma pull the cord like she had to do...I would have begged her to keep it hooked up for days weeks months even years...knowing you would never come out of that state but you would of still been here physically and that would have been selfish of me...I know now you had to go to watch over us in a healthy state...and I can still feel you every second of every day...and I know you want me to move on and begin to live again..and I will try my best to make myself everything you knew I could be...I promise to you I will stand on my own two feet again...I will fall in love and will allow someone to love me the way I deserve to be loved...My biggest promise to you is this...I promise to keep you memory alive in my heart and mind and remember just how much of an amazing man you were...I love you!!!