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Grow A Pair, or Date A Real Set

Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 214
Class/Type: Prose /Misc
Total Views: 1038
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1405


Grow A Pair, or Date A Real Set

Sometimes you have to stand up, be the goddamn Man
throw that Bogart-cool on the table and show them Love
is as welcome as psoriasis, then snap their shrinking balls
off like grapes and toss them in your purse.

YOU, I keep preaching, have the power to change all this.

She wants to live in 1953, with pearls and a starched skirt
chained to a stove, cheek-pecked and respectable,
while he drinks coffee and promises to be home by 6:00
for a game of "Guess who's coming to dinner?"

"You don't understand," she wails, "how much I love him!"
as if this is a foreign language on my pierced tongue, as IF
I were born marbled ice and bitter-grass wine.

Better to be thought Loveless, than admit I ever
Reduced down to something like this, broken, halved
over something as trivial as the realization
that he doesn't love me back.

Sometimes you have to be the goddamn Man, refuse
to wear a starched skirt and white beads, refuse to
take a back burner when they want dinner served late...
"But I don't want to be the man!" she says,
"What should I do?"
and all I could advise was, "Then for god's sake, girl,
stop dating such pussies!"

Submitted on 2011-03-12 15:06:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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This is bliss...amen again!!!

There is nothing worse then a man child with a vagina. You tell it like it is...prose or poetry...perfect.
| Posted on 2014-05-25 00:00:00 | by clay | [ Reply to This ]
  Oh, and the last line is killer. Sort of paradoxically sums up the facts and ties in the title. Great stuff and again, dead clever.
| Posted on 2011-04-12 00:00:00 | by PaulHudson | [ Reply to This ]
  Nice one dude, love it.

'back burner when they want dinner served late' - clever, and my favourite type of clever. I don't know what it's called when you take a turn of phase and use it in it's literal context but I love it.

Did you have to think on it or did it just hit you or stumble on it? Always like to know how other people think up cool lines like that.

It's a sound piece of adive, flows well and feels very natural.

I didn't have a clue what it was about to start with. 'Purse' really stuck out because I thought the target audience was male. I like that I slowly began to understand that it was a frustrated males advice to a girl. I think you're probably were aware of the contortion it causes when reading because you emphasis the fact the female is the person you've been addressing.

It's like at that point you get us on board and understanding your argument and then we can share the frustration of hearing 'how much I love him' - you hit the reader with it in one go and it's effective.

Thats the way it read to me anyway.

| Posted on 2011-04-12 00:00:00 | by PaulHudson | [ Reply to This ]
  Good advice!!! Violent and funny too.

women need not be men but they need not be meek also.

you see i cant have a very bad opinion about guys. luckily, i never met any 1953ish sort of man... may be because i am not 1953ish myself.

it leads to the same conclusion... like attracts like.
| Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
  Although I found the first paragraph pretty scary , The third kind of pulled it back together for me . In 1953 many states still didn't have laws against spousal rape . If the man wanted some and his wife didn't he could force her . Indeed women have grown a set since then , and I kind of like them . The fourth and fifth paragraphs Really got it for me . Although I'm sure it can be painful to realize your love isn't returned you've got to think of yourself first . So much of the poetry on this site is hopeless drivel about how he broke my heart and i'm so dead inside , etc. etc. I cant stand the stuff . Denial or rejection of these emotions seems so much better of a solution . I applaud you . Like here here . The final verse caught me by surprise . Excellent humor but it brings up a problem I encounter a lot . How can a female consider calling someone a pussy an insult ? You can argue it's purely semantic but it still irks me . It's like "What a coc* suck4r " . Like why would a man (or even a woman ) use this for an insult . Like don't we men want to encourage women here . I know I do . It's one of my favorite acts . Oh well so much for progress . We'll get it eventually .

| Posted on 2011-03-14 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
  this is you all over. this is definately prose.

marbled ice and bitter-grass wine. couldn't describe it better. some girls/guys/herm's like things romanta-sized ya know. that's the association they made. ugh. people do try and live out that internal eyed i-deal way two much. then there comes the haves and the halve knots. blah blah.

what rhyme is subtle enough to not be noticed, but there enough to be brought out and adds to tone when inflected upon (in spots).

hmm on a completely inappropriate note, how's school? are you finding new sources of inspearayshun?

for some reason i imagine you getting um...mooded in whatever direction and just sort of blurting out like this. idk. your poems are so you, and easy to spot out for their attitude that maybe that's why. but it's better than speaking in cunstant wiirdplay.

on a more serious note i feel like i'm missing clues/pieces. like this should be carried out cuz i'm not getting full context(not that it's bad, it's more prosetry w/e kind of meant for a place like this or smacked in a collection of poems.) with the not dating pussies. maybe i'm not getting what it is i'm suppose to. anyhow, solid.
| Posted on 2011-03-12 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
  This title drew me like a fly to [censored]. Sheesh, that sounds offensive. I meant a bee to hive or flower, or however that saying goes. Okay, giving up on that, I mean this title is very intriguing & what followed it was & wasn't expected all at once, which is cool.

On one side this seems to be about playing roles & wondering why life isn't working out. I look the part, so why the [censored] don't I feel it. & I'm playing the part, so you need to too. It's bitter but very determined to. Some folks get hooked on facades or the idea of something. Suits don't make real men, pearls don't make ladies. & hey, there's good reason 1950s ideals didn't last.

& Ah, the revelation at the end. For a minute I thought that it would be somewhat message driven, like feminism or something, but it's a conversation & observation piece: not judgy, just fed-up. I have a friend like this & I'm pretty sure I've given the same advice while wanting to wring her damn neck, but lovingly. Yup, I am convinced you can lovingly wring someone's neck. This is both comical & insightful, which gives the best delivery I think.
| Posted on 2011-03-12 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
  i know where this came's a statement...

and some of the phrasing is quite good...
i like the "guess who's coming to dinner" line...
"chained to a stove, cheek pecked and respectable...but the question is.

can she respect herself...most importantly..

sharp tone...
| Posted on 2011-03-12 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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