Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Changedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: AshleyDYoung
    ASL Info:    19/F/Ohio
    Elite Ratio:    4.22 - 28/33/34
    Words: 87
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 363
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 483



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChangedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Time is in essence the mother to us all.
    It raises us from a child and turns us into
    the adults we are today, and if not kept a close
    eye on it takes away the very life it helped create.
    Change is our father, offering us comfort when
    we've skinned our knee, or beating our little
    asses if we've talked out of turn. Well, mother and
    father, why is it that I always get punished
    when I've done nothing wrong?




    Submitted on 2011-03-12 21:58:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i think we've all felt this way. this piece gives a tone of it being persistent which isn't good.

    is it a feeling of it being punishment(it's hard to understand anything specific with a slue of pronouns) maybe it's that feeling itself i'm seeing here. idk. the emotion carries well, change for the worse always blows. i'm not good with responive words, but i can handle ventilations. if needed. based on works between you and your fiancée it seems as though you two click very well. hopefully all you need is each other to lean on? idk. i guess if things are bad with no control, just keep it up.
    | Posted on 2011-03-12 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189858

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Every..... written by jackz
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Giving written by jjd
    written by Daniel Barlow
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Fasade written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Bond written by saartha
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry