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    dots Submission Name: Yes I'm Listening Ignorancedots

    Author: on1eday.co.uk
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 887/402/54
    Words: 101
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1081
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 651


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYes I'm Listening Ignorancedots

    Can I be here all alone
    rusty in learning how to disappear completely from yourself
    more questions, less answers
    like trying to change for someone else
    I've questioned me before they ever could
    listening to the silence that shouts the loudest judgments
    they go on and on and on and on
    Yes I'm listening ignorance
    and the arguments of imagination
    a prophecy of self disown
    as if me, I'm not
    and they never play out that way in reality anyway
    all the plants are dead
    and the pile of unopened letters addressed to her
    still sit by the door

    Submitted on 2011-03-14 17:53:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      only 2 commas this time.

    i'll be back.

    gotta fly.


    | Posted on 2011-04-06 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I have been here many a time before. Searching yourself for some unknown reason as to why you're alone, yet you can point out all your flaws and still wonder, why? You even point out their flaws, and still wonder, why?

    Self reflection is a good thing. But when you're alone, things get you so down that it seems like you scream at yourself because you're the only one listening. You dream of the other reading your thoughts, your letters... You know that will never happen. It's a hopeless feeling.

    And the times, where you ask yourself, countless occasions where you beg and hope "Am I worthy?"

    The key is, not changing for anyone. Those who surround themselves around you, like you for who you are. Remember that. There is no need for change, just because of one person. No matter how good that person my seem to you.

    Like you for you, and the right people will come. If you are unhappy with something, change it for yourself. Otherwise, don't budge for anyone.

    This brought back so many memories... Memories of trying to change myself for someone. Countless hours spent, trying to figure out what went wrong, and what I need to change in myself ti fix the relationship. When, all I got in return was my own unhappiness.

    We as humans, are flawed. If one can not overlook a flaw, or learn to love it, then there is no point.

    Just my ramblings from the poem. What came to mind when I read it. Don't listen to me half the time, I tend to rant about just what comes to mind sometimes.

    Truly an artfully crafted piece.

    "Yes I'm listening ignorance
    and the arguments of imagination
    a prophecy of self disown
    as if me, I'm not
    and they never play out that way in reality anyway"

    That would be the part of the poem that captured my attention. "Yes, I'm arguing with myself, trying to figure out how I can change. I can see things differently, but it'll never happen. I am me, and no one else" That is the meaning I took from it.

    Thank you for the read. I enjoyed reading this, as well as a few others of yours. You are indeed, exceptional at writing. Keep it up. :)

    | Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by Kitkara | [ Reply to This ]
      When you're suddenly "me" after being in a "we" it's a noisy silence you're left in, isn't it? Noisy and screaming, as accusing and disturbing as any hanging judge.
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
    There is some very subtle play-on-words in here. How you've set up the lines & phrasing caused me to pause here & there to make sure I had read it right, but in a good way. It kept me alert to the purpose of the poem, which did not reveal itself until the very last lines.

    I am a fan of poems that do that, that kinda meander or ramble & then sucker-punch. Up to that point, the poem read defiant, but then after reading the final sentiment, the poem reads as someone sorta stuck turning things over in their head, trying to wrap their brain around something, as tho to say I am hard enough on myself without the rest of you around to count my flaws.

    I do think this could be broken up differently to pace it better, & that's really the only place I felt the poem faltered. Maybe play around with some of the line breaks, tho some of them are great, like the "as if me, I'm not", & maybe more stanzas. I also really enjoyed the affect of "Yes I'm listening ignorance."
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by Santi | [ Reply to This ]
      it is like someone has objections on your survival too after hurting you intolerably.

    .... this is the defiant answer.

    The imagery of dead plants and unopened letter speaks for itself!

    Very nice!!!
    | Posted on 2011-03-15 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      i like that phrase.."i'm listening ignorance"

    the ending brought me a sardonic smile..i just got a piece of mail the other day addressed to my last ex...first time in two years...

    sometimes their unopened mail could be a metaphor for and unopened heart...and/or that that other person simply just didn't want to listen to us...to work things out...to be there for us..whatever..

    the second line is interesting..

    i almost want to read "yourself" as "myself"

    but i see where "yourself" makes much more sense and the awkward use of it there brings attention to how i am rusty at being by myself...at letting go of you...and just being me.

    and self-disown...nice wording there..

    as if i will eventually just give up me...but on the contrary..i will be stronger and just let the unopened mail sit...and throw out the plants and get new ones that are my OWN...

    related to this

    the "loudest judgements" are the ones seen in the eyes, moreso than the ones heard from lips...they are much worse.

    | Posted on 2011-03-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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