[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots

    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 357
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661

       Quick thoughts to get the mind running. How I feel today that's all.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I'm feeling trapped,
    In a 12 by 15 room space,
    Haven't snapped today,
    With all the confusing craze.

    Sometimes I force myself,
    To like the environment I'm in,
    I know it's bad for my health,
    But loneliness can be comforting.

    Nowadays everybody seems busy,
    While I wish for a helping hand,
    Exposure is what I'm missing,
    Yet these four walls have become,
    My friends.

    I feel trapped internally,
    What's even worse,
    Is that a greater force,
    Whispers secrets just to,
    Torment me.

    Submitted on 2011-03-16 00:38:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, sounds like how I am feeling now
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
      The sense of entrapment is well brought out here... these whispers seem to snuff out the peace of mind too if any.

    very nice poem !!!!
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]

    This seems to me like it is the beginning of a piece, the feeling I get when I read it, is where is the ending...
    My opinion is that if you would expand it a bit more, maybe describe the sensation of the "cage", it would have the last touch it needs.

    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by Kwanying | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Summer written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Happy Saint Patrick's Day written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Fasade written by jackz
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wavelength written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    AI written by poetotoe
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]