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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trappeddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Latin King
    ASL Info:    31/M/Los Angeles
    Elite Ratio:    2.39 - 104/232/145
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 417
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 661



    Description:
       Quick thoughts to get the mind running. How I feel today that's all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrappeddots
    -------------------------------------------


    I'm feeling trapped,
    In a 12 by 15 room space,
    Haven't snapped today,
    With all the confusing craze.

    Sometimes I force myself,
    To like the environment I'm in,
    I know it's bad for my health,
    But loneliness can be comforting.

    Nowadays everybody seems busy,
    While I wish for a helping hand,
    Exposure is what I'm missing,
    Yet these four walls have become,
    My friends.

    I feel trapped internally,
    What's even worse,
    Is that a greater force,
    Whispers secrets just to,
    Torment me.





    Submitted on 2011-03-16 00:38:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I like it, sounds like how I am feeling now
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by b_v_grant | [ Reply to This ]
      The sense of entrapment is well brought out here... these whispers seem to snuff out the peace of mind too if any.

    very nice poem !!!!
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      ...

    This seems to me like it is the beginning of a piece, the feeling I get when I read it, is where is the ending...
    My opinion is that if you would expand it a bit more, maybe describe the sensation of the "cage", it would have the last touch it needs.



    -Kwanying-
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by Kwanying | [ Reply to This ]


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