Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: unspoken wordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: unwantedlove20
    Elite Ratio:    4.39 - 16/12/11
    Words: 156
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 659
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 841



    Description:
       I cudnt fit my entire poem because i had submitted this on my phone and there is a certain limit...i had to improvise..anyways hope u like it!!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsunspoken wordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    If i can show you how i turly feel every time u walk by..it would mean taking off my mask..and im afraid i cant do that..taking off my mask means throwing awayall the hours..the days i have spent pretending i wasnt hurt..deceiving all those who cared..taking off my mask would mean tellling everyone that i have never stopped loving you..taking off my mask would mean that i lied to everyone who asked me if i was ok...i dont want just anyone to see me without my mask..i want u to look in particular..look under my mask..see that i have suffered..see that i still need you..realize that i love you to much to forget u overnight..seee that i will never stop dreaming of the day that u will be mine..that i will b urs...if i can express myself as freely as i could now in front of u i would..but these words will forever remain unspoken.. =,(




    Submitted on 2011-03-16 09:58:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow I can tell this cam stright from your heart I enjoyed this alot. however if you were to get onto Elite from a computer and edited this i think it'd make a world of difference. I can relate to the "mask" you speak of I also walk around in this world with a constant mask on.
    thanks for posting keep up the great writes

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2011-03-19 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]
      This had to be hard to do over a phone. Texting is a [censored].

    I love anything with a mask concept to it. All people wear masks, whether they're removable anymore or not... and I really like it when that is recognized by others in poems/stories. There is an old Twilight Zone (I think it was) where the family of a dying rich man has to wear ugly masks until midnight, when the man dies after telling them how ugly their personal characteristics are, and once he's dead, the masks have become their actual faces.

    I guess the point of that story is reversed to this. Masks are a defense, as much as an affront. But regardless, some people have several. Nice write, much enjoyed.
    | Posted on 2011-03-17 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      ohhhhh take off that mask it is hurting you and doesnt suit you at all... you are much better without it.


    Now, you will get up and wear one more mask,,, this is the standard behaviour of mask weares... but they are ruining the happiness in your life.

    Dont let them win.
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
      i think there could be something here...

    but would like to see it formed into a poem...and with standard language used, rather than text wording.
    | Posted on 2011-03-16 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    189917

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    This written by Chelebel
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Genesis written by saartha
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry