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    dots Submission Name: Hope and Redemption- Twisteddots

    Author: EmeraldJealousy
    Elite Ratio:    6.42 - 219/109/18
    Words: 110
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 1233
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 623

       Just working on getting the posts up to twenty. Feedback's good though, as always. Thanks

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHope and Redemption- Twisteddots

    It is beautiful-
    The light that pours from the cracks in the wall.
    In the darkness there is solitude,
    But in the light...

    There is hope.

    I am here in the darkness
    Waiting for the healing rays.
    If there was ever a moment to be disarmed,
    I believe the moment would be ripe...

    To believe in redemption.

    So I will crawl out of the darkness,
    But cower back from the rays.
    When one lives in darkness for too long,
    Grace begins to retreat...

    And He declares me fallen.

    Submitted on 2004-07-28 14:14:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I like this. Your personification was outstanding. My perspective is that you don't ever have to worry about not being enough grace no matter what you've done, but back onto the poem. You used great metaphors, and your symbolism was nice. The only thing I say is don't just put yourself out there like its just a poem (relating to your description) Remeber everything you write is from inside of you.Emotions that live. IF not today, then yesterday and in a dark corner of your mind that you blocked away from your present status. PResent yourself as the greater writer you are and never shun your work as something just written. ;)
    | Posted on 2005-08-13 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      wOW! I think you have set a record in regards to visits ,but only a dismal 4 comments. Yes, I know, but at least you know you hit on the two most important words that spurs mankind on,such as HOPE and REDEMPTION.
    While in my read a picture of the painting of The Christ kneeling beside a stone in the Garden with a beam of light coming from above
    emblazened itself upon my memory. I began to think was this poem of yours the picture that Christ had in His mind at that moment of seemingly dispair.
    | Posted on 2005-06-10 00:00:00 | by realpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful piece. So many people can relate to this, including myself. Although I've found a way to be in some light, I always find myself in the darkness. I loved the first part to where, There is hope. Very encouraging words. Liked this one a lot.
    | Posted on 2004-07-31 00:00:00 | by abby2391 | [ Reply to This ]
      I think the poem is awesome. Spending too long in the night (proverbial or not) definitely means some pain when you face the sun again. This is great, definitely a favorite.
    | Posted on 2004-07-29 00:00:00 | by bentnotbroken | [ Reply to This ]
      insanity has a good point, I liked the way those isolated lines sort of jumped out at you. It gives the reader time to stop, shocked with an image. The images are built up nicely, kind of creating a creepy feel from your words. I hope to see more!
    | Posted on 2004-07-28 00:00:00 | by Dalelord | [ Reply to This ]

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