This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -

Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Pictures of Lily

Author: Runes
Elite Ratio:    5.29 - 790 /815 /281
Words: 63
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 689
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 530


Pictures of Lily

Beautiful Lily caressing the snow
leaving an angel behind.
Blowing pink kisses, her tiny cheeks glow;
sweetly expressive, she shines.

Mermaid-lithe Lily elusively peeks
camera-shy, castled by sand.
Shells she's collected are piled at her feet,
carefully sorted and stacked.

River-soaked Lily, adventurous smile:
kayaking lessons with friends.
Closing the window, deleting this child...
Never send Lily again.

Submitted on 2011-03-18 04:20:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This is phenomenal!!!!

i just saw Lily growing up through her scars. her voice has a mysterious lilt, her life has a dangerous edge but she never ceases to be an extra ordinary beauty.

i want to read it again and again but want to keep its mystery untouched.

this one is a sure favourite!
| Posted on 2011-03-21 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
  What I get from this is that the speaker actually is Lily , and that she has suffered some sort of emotional trauma that has spoiled her childhood innocence . She no longer feels that she can express herself in its light . Ipso facto , ergo she deletes her . Never to allow her newly jaded self to mention again . Unfortunately many mistreated women suffer this affliction .

| Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by monad | [ Reply to This ]
  i find this really sad the way i am reading it...

i like the near rhyme you use...effective..

i see a beautiful child so full of life, but taken too soon...i see these snapshots of her in different poses..

but she was taken by the river...and the speaker asks that the memories never be sent again...

on the other maybe that for some other reason, not death, this child was taken out of the speaker's life...and it is too hard on the speaker to even see pictures of her...

either way..very sad in my read.

but a beautiful poem.

reminds me in part of the Who's song "Pictrures of Lily"
| Posted on 2011-03-18 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?