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    dots Submission Name: Hard linesdots

    Author: Civilian
    ASL Info:    21/M/Australia
    Elite Ratio:    7.14 - 146/166/35
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 790

       I think this one could be good with some work, so please suggest away. I'd be interested to see what people get out of it, because I think that there are a few different perspectives that work.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHard linesdots

    When we ran together,
    your contours used to arc
    and spring like a sapling's.
    Your eyes were quicksilver
    and the smell of new earth
    breathed from under your nails.

    I imagined an artist
    sketching in stop motion;
    he used a wooden compass
    to trace your limby angles
    as you flowed in easy lines.

    That compass spike quivered
    when you slowed to a walk.
    The easy lines hardened
    as you jutted and stumbled
    in a wavering arc -
    those were hard lines to trace.

    It ended as these things do:
    the wood warped and hollowed
    until one day that compass
    splintered exhaustedly,
    leaving a bloodied hand
    and a hole in the page.

    Submitted on 2011-03-21 09:10:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "leaving a hole in the page"

    a gap...someone close who grew old...and not well...who slowed down immensely from the person i used to run with...not just literally run but figuratively..the person i most related to, like a best friend...
    and i had to watch you slow down..and wooden compass that gave you direction...sturdy like an oak tree...but deteriorated...the bark losing its strength..its protection of the person...you walked more slowly, bent over...

    and in the end i see...either death took the friend or the friend decided on death as an alternative to the deterioration...

    quite visually stunning this piece...

    that is the portrait i saw...by the artist with the wooden compass..

    i like the idea i see of both of you in the painting...but the colors of him..or her..fading fading...fading....

    nice work

    | Posted on 2011-03-21 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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