Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Desperationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: sjahangir
    Elite Ratio:    1.43 - 3/4/5
    Words: 137
    Class/Type: Poetry/Romance
    Total Views: 419
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 810



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDesperationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    With the serene breeze it has to to offer,
    I want you to amplify the night with Chanel No. 5.

    Lay I tonight, thinking of my life - a passionless calamity,
    only can calm me your elegance and beauty.

    Night is known for its secrecy,
    for every soul is in deep sleep,
    extend to and wake me up with compassion in privacy.

    Make me feel the coolth of your chocolate skin and the figure outlining silk,
    certain I am they will taste better then the most creamiest milk.

    I will address you my dear with the name Natasha,
    for it has romantic reminiscence of the smell of Caffe Mocha.

    It is time for me to come back to reality,
    I tried my level best to write this piece with decency.





    Submitted on 2011-03-21 22:28:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      entertaining...love the last line especially! and it has a touch of humor too. do you rap? this could be rap lyrics, you know.
    | Posted on 2011-03-27 00:00:00 | by Amma | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190079

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Incubus written by monad
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bond written by saartha
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    This written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry