Dude, That's So Broody
Billy: "Dude that's so broody!"
Billy: "Check it out, check it out! Do you think I should eat it? Come over and sniff it."
So Johnny comes over wags his tail. Looks at it cock-eyed and eats it. His cheeks pull back and his tongue flops around.
Billy: "Dude that was broody! What did it taste like!"
Johnny: "Ooo man that's so much worse than it smelled like earlier. Once I cracked the shell it got really bad."
He started making all kinds of wet sloppy noises while he shook his head.
Johnny: "Hey dog what do you want to do?"
Billy: "Did you smell that?............ I know what I want to do."
Johnny's tail tucks between this legs.
Billy: "Come on Johnny don't be a pussy!"
Johnny: "But that cat killed my best friend!"
Billy: "That best friend of yours was a Chihuahua that deserved it."
Johnny's paws dropped while he lowered his head.
Johnny: “Mickey may have only been a tiny dog, But he was still a dog. Come on man!!! I know you want to. If you don't do it for me do it for Mickey. “
Johnny picked up his head and stood up straight. He thrust his chest out and stood proud.
The dogs were still a long way off when they heard the noise.
Billy: "Lets go Johnny!!"
The dogs were a good size and ran at a decent clip. The cat quickly ran up the embankment hopped on a tree branch and then started to purr. The dogs caught up right quick and started circling under the cat.
Felix: "Soo how is Mickey?...........Ooo wait I forgot ..........Yeah he's dead. That’s right I killed him."
The moonlight moved away from the cloud cover and gave the dogs a good look at who they were talking to. They began to bark and run in circles under the tree branch.
Johnny: "That dog was my friend, and you killed him, why did you kill him!??"
Felix yawned while she stretched out her paws.
Felix: "He never shuts up! I mean sure, a human walks by. Yeah I'm a cat and I understand a few things. You dogs want to bark...........He NEVER SHUT UP!!!!! On and on.........Not just that, he was a dog, he deserved to die. After all it is cats who are the superior species."
Billy: "Ooo yeah is that why your up in a tree? All comfortable up on a branch? I would love to see what you did to Mickey, done to me!
A breeze began to pick up and blow leaves between them.
The spinning fir ball came down as if she was a flying Yoda! Her claws spun around her body and she landed seamlessly on her feet. With no hesitation she flew into the air. The two dogs rushed underneath her.
Her claws tore into their ears. Her feet landed on the back side of Johnny’s head. She jumped up towards the branch. Billy went after her underside trying to get even a pinch of skin. Her back arched up as she went into the tree.
Johnny: "Where you going you little, bitch?"
Felix: "Hey dumb ass, I'm a cat!"
Billy: "Yeah dumb ass, she is a cat! Only humans are worthy enough to be called bitches!"
The two dogs circled underneath the cat. They all made noise barking and hissing at each other. Down again from the branch went the flying fir ball with claws.
Billy: "Johnny Wait!!!"
Johnny's rear paws went underneath him as he dove underneath this feline version of Yoda.
Billy: "Get Her Now!!!"
Both the Dogs turned there mouths towards the cat as she started to fly towards the tree.
Her claws just scraped the bark as she flew past her branch and the dogs moved in to catch her on the way down. Johnny jumped into the air, getting a hold of her rear paw. He gripped it tight and flung her head into a rock.
Johnny: "DDDDdddUUUUuuuuude I got er!!!!!!!!"
Felix lies there and twitches...
Felix: "Die dogs die..."
She said under her breath with her body semi-convulsing.
Billy: "You know I could just snap her neck?"
Johnny: "You could but that wouldn't be any fun at all."
Billy: "Your soo right Dude............... Just leave her for dead."
Johnny: "Later Felix!"