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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Splintersdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShiveringFire
    Elite Ratio:    4.9 - 328/84/22
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Misc/Passion
    Total Views: 561
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 462



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSplintersdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Splinters

    You always accused me of having no heart. I think you never noticed it lying in splinters right inside the drawer of your writing desk---- or perhaps you have lost the keys of that drawer forever.

    But still there is a way I can prove my presence without breaking a thing.

    Just walk in that room in any midnight and try to listen---- yes try to listen carefully, --- you will hear something pulsing.




    Submitted on 2011-03-25 08:53:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I immediately had a vibe with this piece, paints a picture in my mind of a splintered thumping heart, yet it goes beyond that. My imagination investigates a motive for a splintered heart. Well done, enjoyed it.

    Marco
    | Posted on 2011-03-29 00:00:00 | by Latin King | [ Reply to This ]
      perhaps you have lost the keys forever...
    maby thew were thrown away?
    this peice was great shiv!! ( is it okay if i call you that?) wow you comment alot!

    chiatealover
    | Posted on 2011-03-25 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]
      yeah, a book, memories, pictures..could be anything cos they heart holds a lot. love this piece, especially the last line...you will hear something pulsing. it tells a lot in just a few words. nice!
    | Posted on 2011-03-25 00:00:00 | by Amma | [ Reply to This ]
      you really reminded me of the tell tale heart, how he could always hear it beating. good write.
    | Posted on 2011-03-25 00:00:00 | by scardnscared | [ Reply to This ]
      There is not much of commentary for me Shiv.

    Mr.Cilberto just interpreted it perfectly.
    What he said.

    Splinters of the heart perhaps, revolving around presence, recognition and love.
    The heart has splinters in it, locked away in a desk drawer.A notebook locked away in a desk drawer that means a lot to someone.
    Or could I be investigating this in interpretation too far.

    The beginning, accusation of coldness everything else goes from the 1st persons mind to a particular room with the camera lens on the 2nd person or character who sits behind the desk, you combine that with a suspicion area, like the line:

    Just walk in that room in any midnight and try to listen----

    Not to forget the last.though ^ that one just had me envisioning something as a closed door with a slight slant of light from the bottom door edge with heavy breathing on the other side, inside the room a breathing pulse so quiet it's loud at the same time.

    In conclusion something is suggestive to be found out through the opened midnight door, or have the ear to.
    I kinda want to say it rolls with anticipation.
    Maybe I'm just seeing two sides of this

    The desk just stands out.That desk hah

    | Posted on 2011-03-25 00:00:00 | by Rex Gold | [ Reply to This ]
      i am the poem you never wrote, you saw no theme in me..yet there has always been, you just missed it, you never noticed how much i cared...

    but heart still beats for you...if only you would listen, you still might hear it...

    and that desk could still have a use!

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-25 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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