Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: WHISPERS ALWAYS HIDEdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jermwerm
    ASL Info:    26/m/FRESNO CA
    Elite Ratio:    4.29 - 203/268/83
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Longing
    Total Views: 431
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 468



    Description:
       Each day I feel I'm not wanted around and someone I love is waitting or wanting me to leave so they can do whatever it is their hiding from me. It hurts and I feel upset but hay, I'ts only obvious with their every look and every action. their waitting for someone else and I'm only a hastle in the way of their made up truth. I get the message, so I'll try to keep my heart and mind away from now on. sorry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWHISPERS ALWAYS HIDEdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Seems like nothing really keeps it's own, behind the words, where felt alone.
    Eyes astray as voice pursues the not all there with dark betrays.
    Shallow trust the gallows lust, demeanor feigns, surreal uncut.
    Promises in blossomed mist, fluttered behind nothingness. feeling I'm not wanted near, is every moment oh so clearer.
    I superpose I'll leave this thought with the whisper hidden lost.






    Submitted on 2011-03-29 03:15:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      the poet's voice pursues..but sometimes the words can't really do justice to the feelings...or the words aren't wanted..

    so i will not write them down but simply whisper them to myself...anyway i am only pursuing "the not all there"

    unrequited love can make us feel either we are shallow..or the object of our intentions is...

    thoughts, feelings, love seems to die on a gallows of in-between...we die somewhere in the middle not able to reach to the other person...

    i almost get the feeling here of someone who doesn't even realize that the speaker has feelings for her...she is oblivious...and he is afraid his words will fall on deaf ears...so he is prone to self-whispers...and loathing himself for not being more forward...

    just thoughts

    an interesting write...
    the "it's" should be "its"

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-03-29 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190185

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dream written by closetpoet
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry