This site will self destruct in 2 months, March 17.
It will come back, and be familiar and at the same time completely different.
All content will be deleted. Backup anything important.
--- Staff
Roleplay Cloud -
 

Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

The Invisible


Author: TheInvisible
ASL Info:    22/f/The Valley of Doom
Elite Ratio:    2.06 - 51 /55 /37
Words: 65
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 833
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 362



Description:




The Invisible



I am the weak.
I am the broken.
I am the working girl on the street.
I am the child that wishes to never go home.
I am the hopeless.
I am the forgotten.
I am the pregnant teen who fell through the cracks.
I am the lost boy.
I am the sick.
I am the poor.
I am everything you choose not to see.




Submitted on 2011-03-30 13:36:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  The title is exceedingly apt... happy people are more visible than the lost, miserable ones. they are ignored so cruelly... they feel like invisible, non existent.

very good and powerful poem in so few words.
| Posted on 2011-04-05 00:00:00 | by ShiveringFire | [ Reply to This ]
  
Very outside in, clear point, still I feel it is a little empty.
Maybe elaborate something about the different roles, so they get more "life".


-Kwanying-
| Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by Kwanying | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



190203