Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Caged Hawkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ShiveringFire
    Elite Ratio:    4.9 - 328/84/22
    Words: 133
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 763
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 833



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Caged Hawkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The caged hawk

    Did you see the pain
    In blazing aureoles of his eyes.

    Nuded of his feathers
    Wrapped in gauze and rags

    Did you see the stone glinting inside

    Mind you

    This hex cannot be trapped




    Do you think he is injured,
    Do you think that are drops of blood on him

    You will See them scabbing into corals soon.

    Dont go near, dont set him free
    He is a hawk, can be dealt by hawks only
    And Whoever is not a hawk is a sparrow to him

    So first decide who you are then begin,

    Hey! Look back, your cage is empty.

    Told ya

    This hex cannot be trapped



    For long.





    Submitted on 2011-03-31 12:11:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I got goosebumps reading this, I loved the ending, But - Dont go near, dont set him free
    He is a hawk, can be dealt by hawks only
    And Whoever is not a hawk is a sparrow to him

    So first decide who you are then begin,...That was a great line.




    | Posted on 2011-04-08 00:00:00 | by Joybell | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see that you have impressive skills as well, love the imagery of your poem, very interesting piece.

    Marco
    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by Latin King | [ Reply to This ]
      That is quite the tricky poem u got there. I had to reread it to see why I diddnt understand at first ' the hex cannot be trapped.... For long'
    Good job

    D
    | Posted on 2011-03-31 00:00:00 | by chiatealover | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190216

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Fasade written by jackz
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Yes written by poetotoe
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    the testing of hypotheses written by Daniel Barlow
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (final) written by endlessgame23
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    no words for how graceful you are in this moment written by Daniel Barlow
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry