Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Darksidedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: BlazeFlamme
    ASL Info:    22/m/TX
    Elite Ratio:    1.81 - 23/160/138
    Words: 89
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 713
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 720



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarksidedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Inner insecurity
    Leads to insincerity
    Draws knots into
    The belly of the beast

    Thought of infidelity
    Is a tempting melody
    Brawls shame and you
    Foolish in the least

    Sight of premonition
    Filled with double vision
    Falls short onto
    The hell that we perceive

    Love and cessation
    No correlation
    Will never dilute
    No choice but to believe

    Nipping sarcasm
    Scrupulous spasm
    Needless be true
    Cold is now typical

    Bleeding retrospect
    Constant recollect
    Now endless rue
    Never time critical
    For time will take us nowhere




    Submitted on 2011-04-03 06:20:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      okay this got me thinking of old relationships and how insecurity started to tear them apart...from both sides...

    a lack of trust develops because we are so insecure and can't understand why this person wants to be with us..

    then there are the "word brawls" that create the cold distance that can never be erased..the gap grows wider...and then the regrets...what got us to this point? why did we do this to each other...what we had was so good...but our insecurity was such poison...

    and often we don't learn our lesson...that darkside shows up relationship after relationship--

    "nipping sarcasm/ Scrupulous spasm"

    nice phrasing there...lots of wonderful phrasing in this...careful of spellings so the impact isn't interrupted.. "infidelity" "premonition"

    i like "love and cessation/ no correlation"

    if we trust, love without judgement or reserve and trust ourselves enough to be loved...

    then cessation would not be part of the equation.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    190257

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Cage written by distortedcloud
    To written by SavedDragon
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    This written by Chelebel
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Incubus written by monad
    Bond written by saartha
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry