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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Regressiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 53
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 711
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 443



    Description:
       Trying something new. Not sure if the title works, but I'm never really good at those. I'm not sure if the flow is good enough, or if there are better words to convey procrastination-like attitudes in the second line. That's the only line I'm not happy with, but I'm thinking it might just be author's bias.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRegressiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dirty, rotten, dissapointment.
    Chilling, killing time management.
    Festering 'neath emberassment.
    Blistering with callous intent.
    Harboring a jealous regret.
    Hiding, waiting, so expectant.
    Mind a reeling, body keeling,
    Heart shielding what rage is feeling.
    Self-ness, healing, grateful content.
    Feigning, failing, not what I meant.
    Dirty, rotten, dissapointment.




    Submitted on 2011-04-03 17:18:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      o.o

    This...

    Makes me wish I had even an ounce of your talent...

    -.-
    | Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
      i get the feeling of regressing...after a bad relationship...stalling to get living again, stalling to get loving...

    the "chilling, killing time"

    is interesting...because it can refer to "just chillin'"

    biding my time...killing time...or could refer to the cold feeling i have while killing time...maybe murdering the memories of the time past....i like that line for its various possibilities in the reading.

    it's your wording..and appears to roll off the tongue..."embarrassment"

    embarrassed at the disappointment, procrastination happens with the discontent...and the pain meant
    not to happen again.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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    190262

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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