Regression by Zai

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Regression dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	Zai
ASL Info:	24/m/US
Elite Ratio:	3.97 - 66/145/98
Words:	53

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	711
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	443

Description:
Trying something new. Not sure if the title works, but I'm never really good at those. I'm not sure if the flow is good enough, or if there are better words to convey procrastination-like attitudes in the second line. That's the only line I'm not happy with, but I'm thinking it might just be author's bias.

Regression dots

-------------------------------------------

Dirty, rotten, dissapointment.
Chilling, killing time management.
Festering 'neath emberassment.
Blistering with callous intent.
Harboring a jealous regret.
Hiding, waiting, so expectant.
Mind a reeling, body keeling,
Heart shielding what rage is feeling.
Self-ness, healing, grateful content.
Feigning, failing, not what I meant.
Dirty, rotten, dissapointment.

Submitted on 2011-04-03 17:18:10 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
o.o

This...

Makes me wish I had even an ounce of your talent...

-.-
| Posted on 2011-04-09 00:00:00 | by ShadowsnLights | [ Reply to This ]
i get the feeling of regressing...after a bad relationship...stalling to get living again, stalling to get loving...

the "chilling, killing time"

is interesting...because it can refer to "just chillin'"

biding my time...killing time...or could refer to the cold feeling i have while killing time...maybe murdering the memories of the time past....i like that line for its various possibilities in the reading.

it's your wording..and appears to roll off the tongue..."embarrassment"

embarrassed at the disappointment, procrastination happens with the discontent...and the pain meant
not to happen again.

jacob
| Posted on 2011-04-03 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

190262

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.