Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Darknessdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Forthwind
    ASL Info:    29/male/ohio
    Elite Ratio:    0.8 - 0/2/7
    Words: 140
    Class/Type: Poetry/Broken
    Total Views: 524
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 716



    Description:
       Too much for words...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDarknessdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Darkness befalls me like a fog in the night, the crickets chirp, the wind blows, the houses creak, and the moonlight dims. I look up and all I see is darkness. not a single star in the sky....not even a glint of light. my soul takes form of that which has oppressed me, in such a way as to alter my very being. once I was happy and full of light. the laughter, the smiles, the jokes, the love...all those things have been washed away to nothing more than a memoir of time. I reach for it time and time again only to come back empty handed. I feel helpless as though drifting in time like a clock who's gear have become broken and cannot do what it was created to do.....so is the eternity for which I am




    Submitted on 2011-04-04 00:12:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow.
    I have not read a good write in a very long time, and you just got a bullseye!

    "Darkness befalls me like a fog in the night, the crickets chirp, the wind blows, the houses creak, and the moonlight dims."
    I can just taste it. the mellow air just came in through my window!

    " I look up and all I see is darkness. not a single star in the sky....not even a glint of light. "

    I would put it I look up and darkness is all i see.
    just my preference

    "my soul takes form of that which has oppressed me, in such a way as to alter my very being."

    My soul has taken that very form which has so [horribly] (place intense adjective here) oppressed me

    "I reach for it time and time again only to come back empty handed. "
    Ive felt this way before....

    "I feel helpless as though drifting in time like a clock who's gear have become broken and cannot do what it was created to do....."

    whose gear has become..

    "so is the eternity for which I am"

    Amazing write once again. you dont have to listen to my tweaking but just trying to help out
    | Posted on 2011-04-04 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Carry written by saartha
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Cover written by saartha
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    to Be like written by KeeperOfLight
    Records I written by Raphael
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    The World written by jjd
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    prison written by ShyOne
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    New users can only get up to two comments without commenting.